Back Again

That moment you remember you have a blog and haven't blogged since January because you visited another blog that just totally irked your mind....yea....

Seriously though, twitter took my need to blog. Instead of composing my thoughts into some clever sentencing, I can just tweet the thought right then and there.....added bonus is I get immediate feedback.

@veronicastorm (yep I plugged the name)

Updates

Mommy

My mother is still physically healthy but battling a never ending mind battle of Alzheimer's. Its getting more and more frustrating to accept the fact she's not going to get better. That one day it will be hard for her to call my name, associate me as her daughter....etc. But we've been spending a lot more time together which has helped me to appreciate her even more. I wish we could have done this years ago but it wasn't meant to be. Everyday I try to make sure we do an activity but its hard when she's not in the mood or fearful of her surroundings. But I do my best to keep her happy. I love her, but I wish I could do more. She did so much for me, not just being my mom, but my dad as well. All I can is my best in this situation and make the best decisions for her. I'm all she has, she's all I have :)

Dating. Men. The Struggle.

I've come to learn that being single is a growth experience but at the same time a challenging experience. One minute I think I have the answer the next minute I'm back to square one. I am single but my attention concentrates on one man in particular. That attention came naturally, unintentionally. Hard to decide how to navigate in that situation because of all the humps and hurdles. Keeping and open eye and mind as best as I can. But with the situation with my mom, I see the importance of companionship. Even if it doesn't go thru to the altar, people should take more chances in finding someone. Shouldn't wait till you get "successful" or wait for the "one." I'm willing to take chances, make mistakes, create memories. Hopefully someone is willing to do the same :)

Family (blood/non blood)

Trying. Pressuring. Judgemental. Disappointing. Conditional Love.

Me. Extra Info.

Been doing a lot of reading lately. Its my fav hobby and relaxes me. I don't have to worry about reality and like I always say, it's the cheapest vacation out there. I've also been trying to write, get my thoughts out of my head and hopefully compose into a book. I would love to write about my experience with my mom&Alzheimer's as well as realistic fictional stories that young woman can identify with.

Another tid bit, started to exercise. About to subscribe to Women's Health Magazine and join a gym. I need to turn my physical health around, get my metabolism back to moving. I don't want to be in my thirties looking at old pictures depressed or in the doctors office praying for good news.

Well I miss sharing my thoughts with friends and strangers. So blogging has to return to my daily routine, suffer with me :)

wow....

I tried a new support group today (for Alzheimers). It was held at an actual assisted living facility. I was optimistic walking in, during the session I held it together, but as I toured the place......my emotions began to spin out of control. Somehow I managed not to let it out until I got home. It was horrible, still feels horrible.

Regardless of how nice a place is, or how friendly the people are, I still have to make the decision to put my mom somewhere. How can I do that? She deserves to be in her house, living her life. Not on a schedule, not confined.

What will I do with my life without her?

I'm going to have to make some major decisions this year, but I'm not ready to make them. But there is no one else that can. My family could care less and wouldn't even notice.

I feel alone. I have great friends, I have a great support system, but I can't tell them how I REALLY feel.

And if I couldn't get any weaker, I have a spiffy with my person of interest (as I call him). Couple of years ago, I wouldve been able to let it roll of my back or move on. Yesterday and today I just feel real bad about it. I don't even feel comfortable enough to let him know how much I care for him. Its sad....

Does that make me weak, pathethic? I would like a chance to date, maybe fall in love. But am I ready for what comes along with that? Doubt, idk, no.....

Writing here because my thoughts and feelings are safe here. No judgements or worries. No having to explain myself, prove myself.

People really don't want to "hear"me. And I can't put that on someone.

I hope I find some answers soon or they find me.

Current Events have been ridiculous....

I don't remember a time where I was was confused watching the news or reading articles on line. From politics to celebrity gossip nothing makes sense.

Tiny gives a hand job to TI and gets caught by guards??

I don't know whether to laugh or feel pity for this couple. Not only can y'all not stay out of jail, y'all can't even act right while TI is in. I also feel like TI could afford to pay someone to do that for him. Can't be that desperate. I would understand full on sex or oral...over a middle school movie theatre date 2nd base act.

http://http://theybf.com/2011/01/06/i-got-beat-ti-and-tiny-caught-in-the-act-during-visiting-hours

Obama's team keeps changing???

Once again, seems like every few months, somebody moves around in Obama's camp. I don't know whether to be glad he is able to make decisions without worrying about fallout or begin to worry what's really going on behind closed doors.

http://http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/01/06/obama.daley/index.html?hpt=T1

Woman writes a suicide note,gets mocked,then committs act????

So a woman decided to post a suicide note on facebook (yep big mistake). I bet she thought it could be one last effort to see if someone would care, last cry for help. Boy was she wrong, over a hundred rude, mocking comments. Next day, the police found her dead body. Now her wall is full of love....side eye!!

http://http://gawker.com/5726958/facebook-suicide-note-gets-mocked-turns-out-to-be-real

Snooki, the new face of an empire???

I think its amazing that this little nugget of a human being is taking control of her 15 minutes of fame. Really she has passed her 15 minutes because she is a household name. Read the article. I'm still schocked homegirl "wrote a book"

http://http://gawker.com/5726271/snooki-is-building-an-empire?skyline=true&s=i

F Bar?????

New club in Houston is opening with this name. Blatant much...

http://http://www.29-95.com/bars-clubs/story/f-bar

These recent stories have made me do all kind of facial expressions lately. Hopefully you can make more sense of them than I could....

Tried being nice...

So I've learned the past couple of weeks that when I am nice, friendly to the opposite sex, it doesn't quite work in my favor.

Oh but when I'm rude, cocky, would you believe men come raining just making themselves to available, too aggressive, too needy....get it?

So what is a girl to do?

Can't really ask my elders, they didn't really have to deal with so much bitchass, flip floppy behavior?

Can't ask chicks younger because their idea of a good man is Soulja Boy....

Would ask my friends, but hell we all confused just trying to get thru a date without committing suicide...smh....crucial.... uh yea

FOR EXAMPLE

A man texted me to go out. Texted me late and had no set plans.

Nope Nope. Staying in my house.

I responded with "ugh no"

This set him off in a few comparisons of American women to "worldly women"

But he was born and raised in Houston.....side eye

His claim to judge was because he worked a couple of years overseas.

Of course I tried to be nice.

He wasn't so much.

NIGGA HAD NERVE TO NOT KNOW HOW TO SPELL!!

But did I expose his extreme inability to spell a word, no.

Let it go.

He "let it go".

Saw him yesterday.

He apologized and asked for another chance.

SIDE EYE

So......

I think I will just stick to myself, close my eyes and hope for the best lol

Itch I cant scratch...

Ever had a former friend, an enemy, a stranger (who wants to know you so bad) do everything in their power to make their prescense known. Just stand as close as they can to you, join conversations they were not apart of, keep walking near you, accidentally bumping into you...ugh....

Last night I had a former friend do some of these tactics. My favorite was when they felt the need to stare in my direction for long periods at a time. ummmm, I see you! Like my outfit, yay or nay?

When folks act like a tick/fly its almost flattering. That they think a little of attention from little ole me will somehow make their world right. {{ shrugs }}

All I could do was smile and continue whatever dance I was doing at the time. If I wanted you in my life you would be. Just let it go before it turns into something creepy.....

don't blink

Shoutout to @LoveAlexandria for the peer pressure.
I joined tumblr like millions of other Americans.
Link to the right. But for those that don't want to look....
veronicastorm.tumblr.com
Something else for me to add to my daily tasks. lol. yea

Anyways.....

I have been having short conversations with a particular person on twitter. Would you know he holds my interest than some who I can actually touch and smell? Well, he's currently overseas so our convos have been limited to the 140 character limit. But now because of a great hustle, lol, I will be getting a blackberry shipped to me in the mail. So we can bbm as he suggested.

At first I tried to just go buy a blackberry. But then I realized, remembered, I hate blackberry phones. Then AT&T was going to charge me an arm and leg. So like hundreds of dollars for a month. umm no.

But he did offer to "send some dollars" because he wants to talk more. Love the offer but pride won't allow.

But he is showing mad effort, interest.

oh....and don't jump off any cliffs lol. have a great night

Another use for my mirror...

So my homegirl, Ladi L aka Miss Dallas (twitter: @MissDallas09), is booking performances like crazy. She is a certified rap artist. Next to blow out of Texas.



Guess who she asked to be her hypeman......yep....me. Hilarious? yes. Real? yes.



My first time onstage with her was last Sunday at the Los Magnificos Car Show. Talk about nerves and butterflies. Whew, how do performers do it night after night, I don't know. Your judges are right in front of you, judging lol.



She did great, of course! I froze a little in the beginning. Well alot. Claimed my spot top left part of the stage. Then I got more comfortable, followed her lead, interacted with the crowd.



Not as easy as anyone makes it look. Big to small artist.



Your job is to support the artist, get the crowd involved and excited, not embarass the artist either.



I knew for sure she was going hit me with "hey Amber, I think we're going to go a different direction." lol. Nope. Show tomorrow night and Saturday.



Well, all I know is I'm all up in my mirror practicing, cuz the last thing I want to do is mess up her glorious opportunities.



Once again, have a great day!