New Orleans

I am here. Partying, eating, dancing......yes I am having fun. But decided to take a break while I am putting my "face" (makeup).

Questions I have:

How come Donald Trump can build some million odd dollar building and the whole city has yet to be taken care of?

Why do so many males have dreads?

Why are hand gernades so addicting?

How come nobody knows what's in those tube shots?

Why the hell is pizza better in New Orleans? I mean it's so good it competes witht he pizza I had in NY!

RANDOMNESS!!!!!!!!!!

So I am leaving a club called Dreams, and I run into Ron. He was a guy I dated a while back that flipped the script all the way around on me. What are the odds? THe place I met him in, I see him when I am randomly here. It hurt to see him. But I didn't have the courage to approach him. Tear my life and my random acts of nervousness.

I DID NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE HOMECOMING FESTIVITIES THIS YEAR.....AND I FEEL FINE

#7 Job Blues

So this lady tells me her husband works for Dillards....

Tells me I should be interested, look into it, something to do, great pay, benefits....basically better than Macy's...

She tells me I should be a cotton ball.......

1st thought in my head is like my grandma used to pick cotton......

Has this lady said a racist joke to my face............

What does a cotton ball and a job at Dillards have in common......

Oh My goodness..........

She proceeds to explain to me is cotton ball is a term for the chicks at the cosmetic counters.......

Good.......

Makes sense...............

Ooooo the discount on makeup and perfume.........

Ooooo the disappearance of paycheck I have yet to recieve.................

Coolio!!!!!!

Solutions

Now that last blog....whew....venting on the third boderline suicidal power yall! But that breaking point has already been broken. So no other direction to go but left, right, or up.

Yes, I have a few solutions, that help in my dark times.

SLEEP

I feel so much better after a nap. Even if it is only 15 minutes, I am like heck yea. Unless that 15 minutes was too damn good, and I wake up like damn and hopefully have the option to close my eyes again.

SLEEP DURING THE RAIN

I will think about that particular sleeping sesson into the next tme it rains. It's like my body is floating. No messy face when I wake up.....just peace

READING

Now I always read, But I have been a book shopping spree lately. I go over to Walmart late at night and browse the covers, find one I like, read the summary, and either buy it or continue my search. The only problem is I can read a book in the time it takes some to flip through a magazine. Ok, maybe not that fast, but you get the picture.

BAKING

We all know I am not domestic. But sometimes whipping up some items gives me a task, a fulfilling task. Especially cookies. I eat alot of them the first day, then I lose the taste. Still I enjoy it, hopefully preparing me for my future housewife duties.

SHIRTS AND SKINS

New reality show about a gay basketball team. It comes on the LOGO channel Mondays at 9pm. BEST DAMN REALITY SHOW, LOL. And you can also go to the LOGO website. You want a laugh, or even just want tot watch some basketball, watch it. It si addiciting.

INCREASING MY BLUNTNESS AND HONESTY

It doesn't really work in the "mommy and me" department, but everywhere else....heck yea. Not as much bs coming thru the cell phone, the myspace, the facebook or the front door.

NOT BEING ON FACEBOOK AS MUCH

really I cannot keep up with the many changes.

PLANNING ON RUNNING

I never plan to run, get my heart rate up or anything. But thinking about a new exercise plan is helping just a bit. I am so nervous the first day I put on my shoes and get on the sidewalk....BOO!

LOOKING FOR A HALOWEEN COSTUME

I am thinking about a sexy Native American costume I found or a sexy chef. Well, just planning ahead is a treat

STILL LOOKING FOR A JOB AND NOT GIVING UP

Thinking about applying at Dillards. Good pay, good discount, good benefits. Nothing could be mroe good

So.................shoutouts to the people who are still beside me, holding me up, rooting for me, everything......Appreciations....love

Hiding...Protecting...

I have been M.I.A. for real. Moving back to Houston is not providing this transition/progession/enlightenment that I thought it would. It's actually making me look back and miss some times I shouldn't be missing.

BITCHASSNESS STRESS..........

1. EX Boyfriends: Well, I guess me moving back home, he took as an opportunity to get his old main chick back on his right side, cuz the left is already taken. I refuse to be the other woman, woman of dark night pleasure or anything. I deserve top bill status! It's so pathetic to know he is in some relationship but still trying to dabble. I feel if you are not satisfied keep it moving. But she keeps him fed, and he keeps gaining weight. So I guess their two increasingly fat selves can be happy. All I know is, his big titties are getting nowhere near my small ones.

2. EX Bestfriends: so I am minding my own business at Chachos (late night eatery) and I keep hearing my name called. Everytime I turn around the girl ducks down behind her "group." It doesn't make sense to me. SO I ask Little Bit to come next to me and see this "crazy person" when they rise from their shame. Who else?? Amber (no not taling about myself, we share the same first name). Like what the hell??? Can't let shit go??? Then she attempts to get Little Bit's attention I guess to start a fiasco? I thought I was doing good by not running into her, keeping her name out of my mouth, just ending like an adult. And there she is trying to be messy, funny, ignorant, start some shit up, who knows what her motivation is. All I could do was say a short prayer and leave the restuarant. No sense in me letting her ruin my evening......ill.....bad taste in my mouth. All I know is she needs to forget I existed, because I saw her when I first moved down and she was like a complete stranger.

3. Mothers: who just won't get help when they need it. Make someone's life a living hell, pushes them to their limit, then cries cuz that will make it all better. Complain of how unsuccessful you are, but limit your chances and resources to rise. Don't understand how you might be 24 years old. Don't understand the transition of moving from an apartment to back home. Understanding the age gap and how it will never be closed, a damn near 45 year age gap. Just not getting help, not taking care of herself, and taking it out on me. It hurts in a different kind of pain that I am ready to pack my things and move to Canada with $10.00.

4. MARRIED MEN: I don't know what it is, but they are everywhere, acting as if they are single. Hanging in single places, saying single things, dressing like they are single....then POOF! I am married, but not like that.....what does not like that mean? illl get away from me, you and your potentially crazy wife.

5. AT&T: Trying to make me feel good by telling me I have an upgrade, but i don't get anything for the upgrade. I just pay a cheaper price for the phone. Nothing free, nothing truly just upgraded. Liars!!! And have the nerve to have like only 10 phones in the store for me to choose from. Tear my life.

6. Houstonians who can't grasp what "tear my life" means: I only say it in certain situations. I always give context clues. I mean damn. They act like I just started spitting Chinese.

7. Job Hunting: it hurts my head. Trying to get that application done correctly so mine stands out. Our making sure my resume is faxed/emailed over properly. Scheduling an interview. Getting an interview. Feedback after the interview. Realizing the pay and how different it is from the advertisement. People telling my mom they can give me the hookup at their job, in reality they can't. They just juicing her up about how she's mad I don't have a job. What to wear to the interview. Who is intervieiwing. Preparing for the interview. What questions to ask........AAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I NEED A GOOD OLE BOY TYPE HUSBAND WHO WANTS ME TO BE HIS GOOD OLE GIRL TYPE HOUSEWIFE.

p.s. Dallas I miss you.......