Another Step...

I saw someone from my past on Sunday. I was only official with him for about a couple of months, but he made such an impact on me.



It was The Gentleman....(NewYork Guy for those that know)



I saw him in BeBe at Northpark Mall.



All I could do was stare, question if that was him, return his smiles, and just stare. So immature and middleschoolish I know, but man oh man.



Of course I gave the signal of "come here." He began to walk towards me and his female (that I hadn't noticed) said, "come look at these sunglasses." So he gave me some type of signal (don't know what it meant) and weird smile and walked over to her. Of course my stubborn ass didn't decide to wait and see their connection, or what sunglasses she was eyeing, so me and Light Bright left the store.



I was in total shock the rest of the day. Couldn't believe the one person I truly tried to open up to , was a few feet away from me.



I saw him later that evening in a parking lot. We have a mutual friend, SirMixAlot, and I was told to come over.



I didn't, even thou I wanted to run over in my new "candy apple red 5 inch heels" and flirt and smile and flirt and smile.



I couldn't run to him, like showing him how much I miss him and want him back in my life. I felt like he could come towards me, get my number, call me, make some effort. He did me bad, and I just think it's his turn.



Well, he is still in town, and I will probably run into him again...if it is fate. Maybe next time I see him we will actually just say hey, maybe have a mild convo. I'm not expecting to be his baby mommma or anything like that, but to hear his voice would be nice.



It's crazy that an enounter with someone, that lasted only a couple of months, got me all twisted something serious.

I can't support it....

Why is it okay for a guy to make up excuses for not following thru? Like they really go thru this whole justification process and expect you to believe in it........

The following was said to me: I'm not in love you, but I'm in love with yo ass!! So am I supposed to be like, thankyou for the honesty? Am I supposed to introduce you to my ass? Is that supposed to be like a compliment for me? Why would a nigga say that out loud??

A guy, I shall call him, ShortieDooWhop or ShortFatFuck, had the nerve to give me a proposed deadline to when he can get it. When I say get it, I mean he wants have All Access to my Treasure Palace. Who the hell gives people deadlines? And if you give someone a deadline, that means you are quite desperate and trying to scare me. Like if I don't meet the deadline I won't get a taste of your lollipop and that would be......well since I'm not doing that stupid shit, I won't taste the lollipop and life will go on. Life might be better, lol. Like the nerve, the audacity, the boldness. And what is sick, is that he said it like he said it before and it worked. If I ever find the trick that allowed someone to say this shit to her and she followed thru, I'm going psycho on her bitch ass. BITCHASSNESS!

KILLA (The guy who threatned to beat me to death and buy a ticket back to his country Nigeria of course), started talking to me randomly outside of Sting last week. And when I reminded him of my death threat, he acted like he didn't remember. I guess he didn't remember calling me close to 50 times, leaving a 10minute voicemail, hunting around his area for me with his gun, talking about me and how he was going to get me to folks, staring at me from across the room, etc. Amazing. He even told ShortieDooWhop to stop talking to me, so that he could talk to me again. HAHA he misses my bitch ass, lol

The following was said to me: Amber, who calls you baby? Of course I said no one, and no one ever will. He goes then when can I call you baby? Just to let you know he said this loud and in front of like 10 people. Really, is that yo line to get me? Are you trying to embarass me? So, baby was the only thing you could think of? What exactly is a "baby" in your wack ass world?

Negro Please

The Ish:

So I went to Houston with Little Bit and the Spanish Conquistador (code names, they get them, chill out). Really went to spend time with mi mama (who is feeling better, but isn't all the way there) and ended having the opportunity to go to the Mary J/Jay Z concert.

My person of sponsership was supposed to be the guy I met last time I was home. Unfortunately he was discovered to have a great amount of back hair. But I kept in touch, cuz he can always shave/wax that off. He offered me a ticket I glady accepted.

All of a sudden my inbox of text messages was full of things like this.....
"I can't wait!!" "I'm excited" "Can't wait to see yo sexy azz again"

~~Pause~~

~~Breathe~~


Now I know I am supposed to be excited that a man would be excited to spend time with me.

I know I am supposed to feel flattered when a man throws compliments my way.

But something just doesn't sit right, when the man sends more than 6 messages of this kind like he just got out of jail, or a submarine or something. He made me nervous.....

So the day comes of the concert, I'm not too excited. Because I am not really a concert person unless I see some backupdancers, the set changing, like I need to get my money's worth. Jay Z, I have the DVD, that's good enough for me. But no way was I going to be able to listen to Mary scream in the mic about how KC did her wrong, and the depression, and how she needs acceptance.........AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Then homeboi hits me with the worst of it all......"What color are you wearing, I need to know so we can match."

~~Pause~~

~~Breathe~~

~~WTF~~

In the end, I didn't go to the concert. I actually got him to sell my ticket and give me the profits. Well he only gave me some of the profits, but I thought that was better than nothing.

What I learned:

1. I need to work on my patience.

2. I truly have a thing against back hair (never knew before seeing his). Especially when it goes above the shirt, like you can see it and all. And it's curly and thick, ill

3. Learn to accept things that I think and know are wack. Give a brother a chance, even thou he wants to wear matching outfits (even thou we are not in middle school and it isn't a Frankie Beverly and Maze concert).

Houston Gives It To Me

Randomly I am in Houston. Came down for the concert. Ended up selling my ticket to the concert. It's nice coming here for a break, getting a breath of fresh (not really) air. It's nice making new connects

SITUATION #1
So I messaged Memphis Bleek on myspace. I knew he would be in Htown for the concert, supporting his homie J. I went out on a limb. OMG, HE MESSAGED ME BACK!! So I got it a little late, so the odds of me seeing him are slim. But I am going to keep up hope that the lines of communication are open. The man is fine, and I like his voice.
SITUATION #2
So old man can't get it together. He is truly trying to meet up with me, but it's like his head is all over the place. I don't have the energy. So I am chilling at my line sister's house before I go have drinks with him. Guess we're meeting up. Guess I'm going to get drunk, lol.
SITUATION #3
Ole boi that got me my ticket to the concert, well he's taking me to dinner tomorrow. I am thinking Perry's Steakhouse. I can't just go there anytime, it is expensive. So yea for me, the infamous porkchops will be in my belly tomorrow. And I won't have to do much talking. Will keep food in my mouth.
SITUATION #4
I found out, while I'm here in htown, that Rick Ross will be in Dallas on Sunday. Yes, Rick Ross, the biggest boss thus far. WHo's excited.......MMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE
SITUATION #5
My old boo Que is in town. He's back from Nigeria. Tear my life, we shall see where this drama-filled situation goes. Had the nerve to ask what I've been up to while he's been gone. Negro's been gone going on 3 months. Umm, what would I really say, nothing, lol.
SITUATION #6
I met a group of dudes that are married, but choose to hang out with single girls. THey pay for everything, they are funny, the like to go out, but at the end of the day....they are married. I mean I wonder what their wives are doing? Why can't they spend that time with their wives, they're at work all day....come on! Marriage scares me...and engagements too....and relationships, whew?!
SITUATION #7
Engaged foolywang is still conversing with me. Maybe because I'm not crazy like his chick. Who he conviently told me they are not together anymore. I am not falling for that. I saw that in a Lifetime movie once. He will always be a homeboi, or that nigga type status. I could never feel alright, because he doesn't place value in commitment....werid huh?

So, thankyou HOuston! Thanks for giving me options and randomness. Thankyou for the short nigga that honked at me while I was walking in the parking lot. Thankyou to the older gentleman winking at me at Kona Grill. Thankyou to the straight guy (who is really gay) who was eyefucking me at Express. Thankyou to the guys who compliment me, not just yell random shit that offends me. THankyou to the security guard at Erika's apts (HEY ERIKA) who tried to lie and say he needed my phone number for further visitor information. THANKYOU!!