I have a best guy friend, I have a best guy friend who is single (well now that's up for debate, keep reading). Never once has there been a mention of a girl, girlfriend, side piece, wifey, hoe, jumpoff, cookie, nookie, boo, baby, baby mamma, "homegirl", "play sis"....nada.

While waiting to go home, a young extremely drunk woman came up to me and said, "arrren't yyouuu Veronica, Veronica Storm?" Me: "Ummmmmm, kind of?"

Immediately I'm on guard because #1 Who is this person? #2 Why are calling me by my twitter name? #3 Is this a situation? #4 So sloppy drunk??

Her response to me was, "I'm _______ girlfriend."

****PAUSE*****

Who does that in real life? Who in their "right" mind would introduce themselves to a complete stranger and not even give their name, just their self appointed title....smh

Of course I was deeply confused and could only muster up a "wwwwwhhhhhhhaaaattt???!!!" and she hit me with her self appointed title again.

I'm assuming she views me as a threat, or thinks our friendship is more than just friends, but.....inappropriate.

If you have to introduce yourself to your "boyfriends(girlfriends)" friends/family, he's(she's) not your boyfriend(girlfriend). If you feel threatened by a relationship of his(hers) and he(she) hasn't given you reassurance, he's(she's) not your boyfriend(girlfriend).

I need people to truly understand, define and seek what a true relationship is. I need people to do their homework/research before they go around assuming shit and starting trouble.

That situation could have turned into a horrible situation because 2 people lack any sort of communication.

Trust and believe, my homie and I are going to have a good wholesome put the shit on the table type conversation because I don't need that shit in my life.

Someone needs to be checked, either her, him or both. What if I had reacted angrily or she had tried to come for me.

Making me reconsider twitter.....smh

Tried being nice...

So I've learned the past couple of weeks that when I am nice, friendly to the opposite sex, it doesn't quite work in my favor.

Oh but when I'm rude, cocky, would you believe men come raining just making themselves to available, too aggressive, too needy....get it?

So what is a girl to do?

Can't really ask my elders, they didn't really have to deal with so much bitchass, flip floppy behavior?

Can't ask chicks younger because their idea of a good man is Soulja Boy....

Would ask my friends, but hell we all confused just trying to get thru a date without committing suicide...smh....crucial.... uh yea

FOR EXAMPLE

A man texted me to go out. Texted me late and had no set plans.

Nope Nope. Staying in my house.

I responded with "ugh no"

This set him off in a few comparisons of American women to "worldly women"

But he was born and raised in Houston.....side eye

His claim to judge was because he worked a couple of years overseas.

Of course I tried to be nice.

He wasn't so much.

NIGGA HAD NERVE TO NOT KNOW HOW TO SPELL!!

But did I expose his extreme inability to spell a word, no.

Let it go.

He "let it go".

Saw him yesterday.

He apologized and asked for another chance.

SIDE EYE

So......

I think I will just stick to myself, close my eyes and hope for the best lol

Damn Popular Kids...Celebrities!!!

The folks below I have a problem with. Some should be locked away, some should be spanked. If I missed anyone, please comment. Loves the feedback lol.

LAUREN LONDON

@ 2PM, she posted this on twitter: Rumors are False! Why won't they just let us be. Wayne is indeed the Father and there's no question. We are celebrating a life. Peace
@ 2:15PM, she posted this on twitter: I wish they would just let us enjoy this moment and stop putting false and negative energy out there.

Boo boo, there wouldn't be alot of negative energy if your baby daddy was a different person. What did you expect? He's not just a positive force in the entertainment industy, he's not going around skipping and whistling that hes got a kid with you on the way...get it together. And add to the fact he just had a kid by a young stripper, supposedly one by Nivea, and his baby momma has a show on BET. Yea...Lauren, go sit in the corner and really wonder why folks are tripping.

VERDICT: spanked with potential locking up in the future

T.O. AND EVERYONE ON THE TO SHOW

Alot of people watch this show, I know this from twitter and facebook updates lol. But the clips I have seen on my phone I don't get the point. I have only learned that TO is country, ignorant and acts like a little boy. But I think I learned that from a party in Dallas where he showed up wearing white pjs trying to tell folks it was his summer look. Negro, please! And his 2 assitants/publicisits/best friends/mommas need to sit down somewhere. If I needed advice they would be the last on earth I would ask. If I needed someone to aid in my career, they wouldn't be on my last list of folks I might pay. Anyway, the show is almost over!!

VERDICT: LOCKED UP!!!!

NIVEA

We know you are pregnant. Please stop showing up to events trying to look fly with that massive speed bump you got on the front. If it is or isn't Wayne's baby it doesn't matter. We don't want to hear another "Don't Mess With My Man!"

VERDICT: Locked up with minimal visitation

KOURTNEY AND KLOE KARDASHIAN

I guess you feel the only way to get some attention and viewers is to bring Coke to your job and kiss a chick. At the end of the day Kim just has to walk down the street and will still get more money and attention than you. Damn shame! And Kourtney is too damn old to be running around Miami like that. But I guess all this foolishness will help pay for the baby's crib.

VERDICT: I would say spanking, but these two would enjoy it...boo!

DAWN RICHARDS

For pretending to bop your head, like you are hearing perfection, when Diddy is singing. I didn't like you in Danity Kane, and I for sure have more reason to not like you now. You are letting this man use you so he can force us to hear him sing his heart out. I wonder if you will get paid your fair share when all is said and done???

VERDICT: serious therapy, mininal spanking, she seems sensitive

TREY SONGZ

For being so sexy. You are distracting me with this CD cover. I think today I have carried it where ever I go. I am ssoooooo mad at you!

VERDICT: spanking, that I will conduct myself LOL

MAXWELL

For putting what 9 songs on your album??!! Trey Songz put 17...it is possible!

VERDICT: light taps, I don't think he can take much

READY is available for you to buy. Go get it. Especially at Target where it is 10.80 (including tax). The album is really good, no lie, hands down R&B album of the year!!!

Everyone have a great day!!

CELEBRITIES I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH

FRANKIE: You are almost so foolish you might need to get back on crack.

KANDIE: If you can't label your mate with one profession, and have the nerve to say he owns several businesses, at some point he was doing something worthy of getting arrested for. If he owns several business why not call him a Business Owner, a CEO, a President, etc....

DIDDY: why is it in your heart to sing so bad?? And how dare you be so hard on your artists and then turn around and lace your voice with autotune.

RHIANNA: being so hush mouthed during this whole drama scenario. You know you have pushed that boys buttons countless times. I'm not seeing cry out for a not guilty verdict, but damn did you have to leave him out to dry while you gave out illegal tattoos. You have yet to explain that herpes that just was in love with your lip.

JACKSON FAMILY: I hope the rumors are untrue about your upcoming reality show. Why must you pressure us to like you, to accept you. Mike was our heart, deal with it, oh and Janet.

LATOYA JACKSON: I also hope the rumors are untrue about you being on The View. Sit down somewhere!!!

LAUREN LONDON: I can't believe you are pregnant. I am just hurt, like I know you or something. And if that baby is Lil Waynes, I guess you see something in the alien looking burnt up roach that none of us see. You have halted your career so early, knowing the roles for you are limited. How can you really play a teenager now? Oh and the shame of it all if Nivea's baby is his too? But whatever, the baby will be a blessing so that is all. Ohh Lauren

NIA LONG: what do I have to do to get you on the acting scene again? You say the roles are limited, but damn boo!! Do I need to start a twitter page?

Folks if you have some more, please contribute...

I Can't Stand Parents Who....

....allow their young girls to wear lace fronts!!! And by young, anyone below the age of 18 attending high school and on down. Lace fronts are supposed to be worn in performance, maybe for someone who has lost all their hair or hairline, in movies where they don't have time to re-dye hair. Not so your baby can look like she is missing half of her forehead. If you don't believe head to your area middle school, I guarante one per school. Got to your area high school I guarantee at least 5 or more. And if you go to any buisness where they hire teenagers: movie theaters, Forever 21 you will see many.

.....allowing their child to use the term "African booty scratcher." Yes a 4th grader said it today, he's African American, to two white girls...really? So then I have to explain or dodge the questions to the little white girl. I mean seriously??

....think it's cute that your baby can't pronounce any words, and saying they have a weird accent.

....let their young boys wear skinny jeans. I mean can they finish growing first?

....support their children attempting innappropiate relationships. Example, the high school boy that lives accross the street from where I take care of children. I think his mom might encourage the flirting. Ill, guess they are itching for me to go to jail?

....who let their elementary children have a facebook, myspace and or twitter page. What the hell for?

I AM NOT HAVING CHILDREN!!!

Seriously.....

It's sad when the only male I can trust is the guy who makes my wings at WingStop. When I ask him for extra seasoning, I get extra seasoning. He doesn't even charge. He doesn't lie to me and say the food is ready when it isn't. He tells me to have a nice day. He is dependable. When I call, he answers, even if it is his job, it only rings like once or twice. I never get sent to voicemail.

and then I compare....

I wish if someone wasn't interested, or wasn't completly honest with their intentions, they would leave me alone. What is the point of asking if we can spend time, if you turn up ghost in a matter of minutes? What's the point of asking me out, but then never taking me out on a date? I don't get it. I didn't put forth the effort so why is the crap being thrown in my direction. Uh I wish I had the will to use the power of a drill......

...............drill some sense into his skull. It can almost hurt your feelings when someone is playing around with your feelings, times, thoughts, amount of text messages, etc. It's even worse when you didn't ask for it. When I mean didn't ask....I didn't ask shiznet.

I did not get the digits, make the first move, imagine a scenario to make a connection; I did not do nothing except listen and try to pay attention.

I regret paying attention. And I would love to say it's just one guy, but it's not. It's two.

Guy number two went on and on about Tuesday. All the different ideas he had for a date on Tuesday. How he doesn't work on Tuesday, and all this time he had to give to me. Again, nothing, nada, not a text, not a call, nothing.

I could see if I was desperate and begged to be taken on a date, or begged for attention. None of that came out of this mouth!

ILLNESS

In 2009, and even the rest of December, I would like to be left alone if you are not serious or honest. You = males. It's hard not becoming a hater or bitter.

Junior Junior

Called me around 11pm,about something that happened 1 month ago.

THE SOMETHING: I went to a pool hall to hang with my Hooters Crew. Turns out Junior was there,wearing this black suit. I was already on the phone talking to Ms.Princess when I arrived. While in convo,he came over,said a few things,we hugged,he went back to his reserved spot.
HIS ISSUE: I didn't do enough. I somehow should've done better....?
MY IRRITATION: Calling me a month later on some bullshit. Thinking he deserves attention/affection/effort and we've never been on a date or dated officially. We shared a kiss....and it wasn't like a kiss that I would change my name over. I wasn't there for him. I don't support PDA or encouragement of weird uncomfortable situations with guys who wear black suits in a pool hall.

I don't support the foolishness. I can't understand why he thought I would get off the phone,or stop drinking my marvelous long island iced tea to stroke his ego or take up time. BOO!

If I would of held off cooking my maple sugar bacon I wouldn't have heard all of the shitty shit coming out of his mouth. Damn me and my attention to food. Might I suggest to everyone to go out and buy some maple sugar bacon....umm!!

ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS NOT SOMEONE I TALK TO OR TEXT. JUST RANDOMNESS HE DECIDED TO COOK UP ON A TUESDAY NIGHT.

Then his idiotic ass called his voicemail,while I'm on the phone,so I could hear a message from Ms.Princess. Um duh, Ms.Priness is my bestfriend,I know all about it. I also know about all the pathetic text messages and phone calls you have sent her even though you know she is dating your homeboi.

It Goes A Little Something Like This....

Been containing a lot of my thoughts inside. I tend to do that, not a good thing I must say. But there have been many changes and bullshit and confusion to where it hasn't been easy to blog.

But let me just spill about the following freaks of nature:

(1) Bottom Lip: thinks he is the man because he knows how to put a sentence together. I mean he thinks that talking the way he does, just makes him fine/sexy/hot/attractive/wanted/needed.....and he was none of those ( I cannot lie he looks good just too skinny). I mean he was so light skinned I thought he was glowing, I mean he was. It wasn't the bacon grease around his mouth, it was just his skin, good skin, just to glowy for me, lol. ANd the fact that I could respond to his creative sentences, just got him all hot bothered. So I played along because I was bored at the IHOP. Talked to him on the phone afterward and I swear I could feel him getting horny thru the phone. And it made me wonder, what females do you talk to? Not happening, I don't support it!

(2) Short Fat Fuck/Shortie Doo Whop: set me up, put me in a horrible situation, and then expected me to continue to give him the time of day. LIke I know I am not the baddest, but I know I am fulfulling a favor by putting up with hotmess. So I say I don't want to talk to him anymore, and he can't accept that. But when I talk to another male, and he finds out, all of a sudden I am horrible, he doesn't want to talk to mme, I am a whore/slut/hoe and so on and so on. Like get a life, wack word usage doesn't hurt my feelings, and I still don't feel bad or want you. Illl (nasty sound) if I have to run into him. I ahven't, and it's been a blessing.

(3) Potential SugarDaddy: I don't know what is going on in his life, but glad he is still in the potential status. He has his hot days and his cold days. Either day it makes me nervous.

(4) Grown Ass Man/Dule: still calls randomly. Will never say he misses me, but will say where have you been, why havn't I heard from you, you just came across my mind, I don't know why I called....and he continues. It's like bullshit, admit it, and since you can't the conversation will remain less that 2minutes. I don't need my feelings getting all in a motion because you decided to give me seconds/minutes of your life. I deserve more and I deserve better.

(5) My Mother: I know it is wrong to call her a freak of nature, but she's been acting freakish lately. I mean her fear of staying in the house and being safe has transferred into fear of Amber's whereabouts. I mean I get calls, her friends are calling. I can't take it! I tried to stay in Houston with her, but she started making me paranoid. I know she went thru a crazy scary experience, but damn her behavior made it more scary. I wasn't tripping about staying there, until when I wen t to sleep and she was coming in my room at least 3-4 times to check on me. Or every noise she shouts out my name. Scary Scary Scary!!! I am going to go home in a couple of weeks, gotta be there for her, but damn I am jumpy in my apt here, TEAR!

(6) My BestFriend: don't know if we are even still friends. I haven't heard from her ever since I said I couldn't afford to go to her Moving Away/Going Away party. I mean the tickets are $100 and that was presale. Then it's an all white party so I would have to get something to wear. That's at least $50 - $100. I said I coudlnt afford it, and I got hit with some rude ass text messages. Tear my life. I was sad that day, because it was like calling out an insecurity. But I talked it out (w/myself), then talked it out with another homegirl to see if I was tripping, watched Lifetime, and realized that even if I had $100 it wouldn't go to a party. I love shoes too much. There are a pair of shoes that I really really want for that price, well a bit nmore expensive. I don't know.

(7) John Mccain: you are too old to run for president.

(8) Kendrick Dennis: how do you know about this blog? I mean you are one FBI/CIA kind of nigga. I just know by the age of 32 you will have killed me or have attempted to kill me. Either way Adam has the rights to write my Lifetime Movie......MOMENT OF TRUTH: The Amber Clark Story LOL. How you still make me laugh and smile....so weird but sweet huh? (Whoa is me, I'm a victim)

(9) Braxton Williams: I want you to forget I existed. NO I didn't call you on my birthday, or check in when I returned to Houston. NO I didn't change my schedule when you got off work. NO NO NO do I owe you anything. And at some point in your life you sould realize that. Still you are my first puppy love.

(10) Jermaine the Lame: for being the type of guy I didn't know I would truly like and be interested in. It sucks how I came to find out he's engaged, and now he isn't, and it's still ill (nasty sound). I know we get along great, have more in common than any other guy I have ever had interest in. I can stay on the phone with him for hours, talking, not just sitting on the phone. He truly makes me laugh, not that fake laugh people hear when they are sucky not funny. I love how I kind of get excited when I hear his ringtone ring, the chance at seeing him, the compliments he dishes out, smiling....But I know we could never be serious, be to weird.

That's about it for right now....Have a great day!

I can't support it....

Why is it okay for a guy to make up excuses for not following thru? Like they really go thru this whole justification process and expect you to believe in it........

The following was said to me: I'm not in love you, but I'm in love with yo ass!! So am I supposed to be like, thankyou for the honesty? Am I supposed to introduce you to my ass? Is that supposed to be like a compliment for me? Why would a nigga say that out loud??

A guy, I shall call him, ShortieDooWhop or ShortFatFuck, had the nerve to give me a proposed deadline to when he can get it. When I say get it, I mean he wants have All Access to my Treasure Palace. Who the hell gives people deadlines? And if you give someone a deadline, that means you are quite desperate and trying to scare me. Like if I don't meet the deadline I won't get a taste of your lollipop and that would be......well since I'm not doing that stupid shit, I won't taste the lollipop and life will go on. Life might be better, lol. Like the nerve, the audacity, the boldness. And what is sick, is that he said it like he said it before and it worked. If I ever find the trick that allowed someone to say this shit to her and she followed thru, I'm going psycho on her bitch ass. BITCHASSNESS!

KILLA (The guy who threatned to beat me to death and buy a ticket back to his country Nigeria of course), started talking to me randomly outside of Sting last week. And when I reminded him of my death threat, he acted like he didn't remember. I guess he didn't remember calling me close to 50 times, leaving a 10minute voicemail, hunting around his area for me with his gun, talking about me and how he was going to get me to folks, staring at me from across the room, etc. Amazing. He even told ShortieDooWhop to stop talking to me, so that he could talk to me again. HAHA he misses my bitch ass, lol

The following was said to me: Amber, who calls you baby? Of course I said no one, and no one ever will. He goes then when can I call you baby? Just to let you know he said this loud and in front of like 10 people. Really, is that yo line to get me? Are you trying to embarass me? So, baby was the only thing you could think of? What exactly is a "baby" in your wack ass world?

Really, I am supposed to want you after I hear....

some stuff I hear on the regular basis. Not even just at the club. It can happen on campus, the local grocery store, a car in the next lane, etc. It gets irritating, disappointing. It's like.....so can you really get mad when I turn my attention away?

"Didn't expect that voice to come out of that body, but I guess I can roll with it"

Once again, I am wrong for pronnouncing my words and should feel blessed that you are willing to look over that...yes girls with booties can't speak well is what you are saying?

"What did yo momma feed you? Cuz I will feed it to you everyday"

So am I supposed to get excited about you and you somehow bring my mother into the mix. And basically telling me the only reason you are talking to me is because I have a little weight on my bones.

"You need to gain some weight, but that ass still sitting right"

So you are saying I look like I have cancer, but somehow managed to have an ass. Thankyou for your help in my self-image issues, tear!

"I want to introduce you to the finer things in life. I will take you to Pappadeaux and shit like that"

What can I say about this one....the fact you refer shit and Pappadeaux in the same level is weird. Or the fact that you are using a restaurant to show off is weird too. And finer things in life, is like you are saying I have never experienced anything in life. Just get out of my face

"The way you walk in dem shoes, you need to walk into my apt"

I don't get it, is there a certain way to walk into your apt? And if there is, give me a second, to walk differently.

"Damn, if I date you, it's like dating a white girl and black girl at the sametime. My dreams"

WOW, I had to literally walk away from this man. Who continued to shout after me. It's like offensive, and he doesn't even get it. Tear my fucking life.

"Can I touch it (my ass) first?"

Like you need confirmation before you get my number or recite my name. Hell to the naw!

"Is it (my ass) real, I mean..."

You mean what, mofo? What the hell? How could it not be real the way it shakes and shit.

"Can I take you home and sleep on it (my ass)?"

So that is all I am good for, is a pillow. Basically telling me I am shitless and my only value is the two basketballs on my back. Thanks for that reminder.....as if!

"Say girl...Say Kim K......Say D.Woods.....Say brown girl....Say girl in the red...Say girl with the ass.....Say girl with boots on.....Say girl etc......"

I just don't take it as a compliment that you don't feel the need to walk over to me, but yell across the way of something that you feel I remind you of. Why are you so fucking lazy? Then get mad when I don't walk all the way over to you, and then you start talking bad about me. Great way to show me your personality in 5 seconds or less..

Song: I hate you so much right now by Kelis

Bitchassness Sighting at the Stepshow

I used to talk to the individual. It wasn't a big deal. Didn't tell anybody about it, until that nigga started blabbing his mouth. Like we were an item, staking claim, what the hell?

Soon as he got in Denton City limits, he decides to begin the wave of text messages. Of course I didn't respond. I stopped responding a long time ago. Just NOT THAT INTO HIM.

Then, because fate is funny, I run into him.

I spoke, I tried to be nice, but then he wants to know why am I giving him the cold shoulder, why am I talking short, let's talk outside, who's at your apartment, we need alone time....and on and on an on. It's like he forgot what was between his legs....duh!

I literally just had to walk away. No words, no looks, just walk away. I know it was rude as hell, but damn!

I even got a few cute texts while I WAS STILL THERE...(choking on my puke).

Then I see him at the stepshow....YEA....really?

I keep getting these weird looks, random eye winks, randomly I turnaround....he's right there!

Then he sees who I am sitting next to..........(big drums playing right now)

It's "Little Bit!" I guess a couple of times she was in Houston, he tried to get at her.

The rest of the show, homeboi avoids us both like we have the flu lol!

It's like how wack, could he be? A true man would have come over to both of us and maybe started a conversation. Maybe asked how we knew eachother. Maybe continue doing that uncomfortable flirting. But he wouldn't just disappear just cuz two girls know eachother. Especially when neither of them WAS YA GAL!!

BITCHASSNESS!!

Some Thoughts...

1. Did he think we were going to go WWIII on his ass?

2. Why does he think he is such a big deal?

3. His bitchassness waited till he got to Houston to text me....really??

4. Why text me, you are the wackest link!

5. At least I won't have to see him for a very long time....if ever.

6. And wouldn't you know, he is a yellow brother, not really in right now...J/K

7. I wish there was a song titled "Bitchassness"

Song: What These Bitches Want by DMX and Sisqo