I have a best guy friend, I have a best guy friend who is single (well now that's up for debate, keep reading). Never once has there been a mention of a girl, girlfriend, side piece, wifey, hoe, jumpoff, cookie, nookie, boo, baby, baby mamma, "homegirl", "play sis"....nada.

While waiting to go home, a young extremely drunk woman came up to me and said, "arrren't yyouuu Veronica, Veronica Storm?" Me: "Ummmmmm, kind of?"

Immediately I'm on guard because #1 Who is this person? #2 Why are calling me by my twitter name? #3 Is this a situation? #4 So sloppy drunk??

Her response to me was, "I'm _______ girlfriend."

****PAUSE*****

Who does that in real life? Who in their "right" mind would introduce themselves to a complete stranger and not even give their name, just their self appointed title....smh

Of course I was deeply confused and could only muster up a "wwwwwhhhhhhhaaaattt???!!!" and she hit me with her self appointed title again.

I'm assuming she views me as a threat, or thinks our friendship is more than just friends, but.....inappropriate.

If you have to introduce yourself to your "boyfriends(girlfriends)" friends/family, he's(she's) not your boyfriend(girlfriend). If you feel threatened by a relationship of his(hers) and he(she) hasn't given you reassurance, he's(she's) not your boyfriend(girlfriend).

I need people to truly understand, define and seek what a true relationship is. I need people to do their homework/research before they go around assuming shit and starting trouble.

That situation could have turned into a horrible situation because 2 people lack any sort of communication.

Trust and believe, my homie and I are going to have a good wholesome put the shit on the table type conversation because I don't need that shit in my life.

Someone needs to be checked, either her, him or both. What if I had reacted angrily or she had tried to come for me.

Making me reconsider twitter.....smh

A Single Creepy Story...

couple of nights ago a friend of mine asked me to go with her to her friend's birthday party. Of course I said yes because I needed to be distracted from sitting in the house, thinking about this and that (check 2 blogs ago).

We arrive and are introduced to this decent looking Australian men. Now usually I'm attracted to every Australian man I meet, but this one had more of a body of 17 year old British guy. Not my type. I like a man to have dark skin whatever race/ethnicity he may be.

He was very flirtatious, which was nice, and didn't mind throwing a compliment or two my way (much needed/much appreciated).

It was when he went to get a glass that he rubbed up against my butt. I'm assuming it was his first big real bootie experience. He turned around and was like, "omg, your bum its so.....omg its real too....its soft and wow"

Of course my friend and I are dying laughing at this point. But I'm also thinking in my head, "hmmm, he can appreciate my pear shape....think about it, consider"

Then he just had to ruin my moment.

Creep factor went up 10k points when he decided to do a double grab on my friend and I....she had on short shorts, I had on a skirt. INAPPROPRIATE. THIS IS NOT A BUFFET OF ASSES.

The rest of the evening consisted of me sitting down every time he came near, not listening to his compliments and trying not to be like "FUCK OFF."

As we made our exit, who do you know follows us in the parking lot, Creepy Australian guy does. And then once again tells me about my "bum." And once again goes too far and grabs me saying, "did you drive." As if I would say "YES DADDY" and follow him to whatever destination he had planned.

Being single I try to keep my mind/eyes open to different possibilities...but that was not an option for me...but I will refer to my ASS now as a BUM....

Things you should try if you haven't....

listen to "She Will" by Lil Wayne, Drake and Rick Ross while looking in the mirror getting dressed/undressed. Something about that beat makes feel all devilish and sexy....

CenterCourt Pizza. Only locations are in Pearland and Missouri City but...its so good!

Fist Pumping all night, equivalent to doing a 6 sets of arm curls in the gym.

Saying "Gyming" instead of "working out." Folks look at me crazy but I'm over saying working out.

Having a dance session in the middle of the street downtown, but sober.

quality reality tv: The A List: New York season 1&2. Just go to logotv.com

hawaiian sandwich bread, makes my plain turkey sandwiches so much more enjoyable

grocery shopping night. they restock the shelves, bakes goods get slashed to like a dollar and its quiet.

Twitter.

Getting rid of negative people. Breath of fresh air and a weight lifted.

Tried being nice...

So I've learned the past couple of weeks that when I am nice, friendly to the opposite sex, it doesn't quite work in my favor.

Oh but when I'm rude, cocky, would you believe men come raining just making themselves to available, too aggressive, too needy....get it?

So what is a girl to do?

Can't really ask my elders, they didn't really have to deal with so much bitchass, flip floppy behavior?

Can't ask chicks younger because their idea of a good man is Soulja Boy....

Would ask my friends, but hell we all confused just trying to get thru a date without committing suicide...smh....crucial.... uh yea

FOR EXAMPLE

A man texted me to go out. Texted me late and had no set plans.

Nope Nope. Staying in my house.

I responded with "ugh no"

This set him off in a few comparisons of American women to "worldly women"

But he was born and raised in Houston.....side eye

His claim to judge was because he worked a couple of years overseas.

Of course I tried to be nice.

He wasn't so much.

NIGGA HAD NERVE TO NOT KNOW HOW TO SPELL!!

But did I expose his extreme inability to spell a word, no.

Let it go.

He "let it go".

Saw him yesterday.

He apologized and asked for another chance.

SIDE EYE

So......

I think I will just stick to myself, close my eyes and hope for the best lol

Short&Sweet

Yesterday I got a text that sent me into a quick crash mode. Crash mode is like that ugly slave cry and the inability to speak English. Yes, it was quite a scene. But that happens when a friend of yours decides out the blue they no longer want you in their life. Yep. Short and not sweet.

I even replied, you think I got a reply back? nope.

I get everyone has the right to make their own decisions about the friendships they want to keep or let go. But you shouldn't have to crush someone's feelings in the process. I was ignored for more than a week. It wasn't till I said I was driving over there till I got the short and sweet text.

I forgot to include that my friend said they would always be there for me. Really? Like you are here for me now. I don't know. All I know is you would think that after years of friendship I deserved a phone call, a meeting, or a text when the decision had been made.

So, I guess they can sit in their apartment comfortable with their decision. As I will have to do the same. I just hope I don't have to face a retraction. I'm not a fucking yo yo and won't be yanked around.

Thanks for the real moments and the acts.

more punishments

It's crazy what is going on 2009.

Joe Wilson

You are a grown ass man. Why couldn't you control yourself during a damn Presidential speech? It was televised. This is in no way will help the Republican Party or prove if Obama is an actual "liar." PUNISHMENT: locked in room with Pookie and his friends

TOYA and NIVEA

So yall are best friends now, friendly associates because yall have the same passion for the same sperm?? Get it together. Why didn't yall invite Lauren London to the lovely picture? Or the young Asian stripper that has his son?? I am all for folks to get along, but at some point a line must be drawn. Toya, move on girl. You have a fine man on your side and a teenage daughter. Nivea is just trying to come back with a top 300 single

PUNISHMENT: Toya just needs a vacation. Nivea needs to covered in tar, covered in feathers and paraded thru the streets to be an example of supreme stupidity

Shakira

Yes you can belly dance. Yes you can belly dance. No one said you could do African tribal, pop locking, none of that. What the hell are you doing in this new music video. I understand the green paper is tempting, but how do you sell yourself like a 2 dollar imitation of Britney Spears??

PUNISHMENT: 150 hours of dance lessons from Boomkak, a severe spanking and a little elf to go in your pocket everytime you feel the need to dance to slap you!

Diddy

Watching your video called "Angels" and I only see you. Yes the two other "members" (backups) are in the video, but can you really separate them from the extras?? Maybe I should watch the whole video before I judge, but it was too emotional. You just kept walking and walking and walking.......BOO to whomever that just won't tell you that you can stop and need to stop

PUNISHMENT: I don't know if there is a punishment for this one. Maybe just have you sit in a room and have to listen to your own voice, with out the edits and help. And hour should change your life LOL

Damn Popular Kids...Celebrities!!!

The folks below I have a problem with. Some should be locked away, some should be spanked. If I missed anyone, please comment. Loves the feedback lol.

LAUREN LONDON

@ 2PM, she posted this on twitter: Rumors are False! Why won't they just let us be. Wayne is indeed the Father and there's no question. We are celebrating a life. Peace
@ 2:15PM, she posted this on twitter: I wish they would just let us enjoy this moment and stop putting false and negative energy out there.

Boo boo, there wouldn't be alot of negative energy if your baby daddy was a different person. What did you expect? He's not just a positive force in the entertainment industy, he's not going around skipping and whistling that hes got a kid with you on the way...get it together. And add to the fact he just had a kid by a young stripper, supposedly one by Nivea, and his baby momma has a show on BET. Yea...Lauren, go sit in the corner and really wonder why folks are tripping.

VERDICT: spanked with potential locking up in the future

T.O. AND EVERYONE ON THE TO SHOW

Alot of people watch this show, I know this from twitter and facebook updates lol. But the clips I have seen on my phone I don't get the point. I have only learned that TO is country, ignorant and acts like a little boy. But I think I learned that from a party in Dallas where he showed up wearing white pjs trying to tell folks it was his summer look. Negro, please! And his 2 assitants/publicisits/best friends/mommas need to sit down somewhere. If I needed advice they would be the last on earth I would ask. If I needed someone to aid in my career, they wouldn't be on my last list of folks I might pay. Anyway, the show is almost over!!

VERDICT: LOCKED UP!!!!

NIVEA

We know you are pregnant. Please stop showing up to events trying to look fly with that massive speed bump you got on the front. If it is or isn't Wayne's baby it doesn't matter. We don't want to hear another "Don't Mess With My Man!"

VERDICT: Locked up with minimal visitation

KOURTNEY AND KLOE KARDASHIAN

I guess you feel the only way to get some attention and viewers is to bring Coke to your job and kiss a chick. At the end of the day Kim just has to walk down the street and will still get more money and attention than you. Damn shame! And Kourtney is too damn old to be running around Miami like that. But I guess all this foolishness will help pay for the baby's crib.

VERDICT: I would say spanking, but these two would enjoy it...boo!

DAWN RICHARDS

For pretending to bop your head, like you are hearing perfection, when Diddy is singing. I didn't like you in Danity Kane, and I for sure have more reason to not like you now. You are letting this man use you so he can force us to hear him sing his heart out. I wonder if you will get paid your fair share when all is said and done???

VERDICT: serious therapy, mininal spanking, she seems sensitive

TREY SONGZ

For being so sexy. You are distracting me with this CD cover. I think today I have carried it where ever I go. I am ssoooooo mad at you!

VERDICT: spanking, that I will conduct myself LOL

MAXWELL

For putting what 9 songs on your album??!! Trey Songz put 17...it is possible!

VERDICT: light taps, I don't think he can take much

READY is available for you to buy. Go get it. Especially at Target where it is 10.80 (including tax). The album is really good, no lie, hands down R&B album of the year!!!

Everyone have a great day!!

CELEBRITIES I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH

FRANKIE: You are almost so foolish you might need to get back on crack.

KANDIE: If you can't label your mate with one profession, and have the nerve to say he owns several businesses, at some point he was doing something worthy of getting arrested for. If he owns several business why not call him a Business Owner, a CEO, a President, etc....

DIDDY: why is it in your heart to sing so bad?? And how dare you be so hard on your artists and then turn around and lace your voice with autotune.

RHIANNA: being so hush mouthed during this whole drama scenario. You know you have pushed that boys buttons countless times. I'm not seeing cry out for a not guilty verdict, but damn did you have to leave him out to dry while you gave out illegal tattoos. You have yet to explain that herpes that just was in love with your lip.

JACKSON FAMILY: I hope the rumors are untrue about your upcoming reality show. Why must you pressure us to like you, to accept you. Mike was our heart, deal with it, oh and Janet.

LATOYA JACKSON: I also hope the rumors are untrue about you being on The View. Sit down somewhere!!!

LAUREN LONDON: I can't believe you are pregnant. I am just hurt, like I know you or something. And if that baby is Lil Waynes, I guess you see something in the alien looking burnt up roach that none of us see. You have halted your career so early, knowing the roles for you are limited. How can you really play a teenager now? Oh and the shame of it all if Nivea's baby is his too? But whatever, the baby will be a blessing so that is all. Ohh Lauren

NIA LONG: what do I have to do to get you on the acting scene again? You say the roles are limited, but damn boo!! Do I need to start a twitter page?

Folks if you have some more, please contribute...

Explain this....

Why would you do this to yourself?

The stomach can be explained by the many children she has had.

But what explains the white panties???