reality

It's been hard to blog lately.

It's been hard to publish what has already been typed.

To sum it up, it is hell living with my mother. Her mood swings, her paranoia, her memory loss.....it's depressing. I never thought I would see her like this. I honestly can't handle it. I have reached to family and friends but the adults tell me to hold on, support her, she's yo momma, help her, we are talking about, la di da di da. Not helping!

ex. I can't even use nail polish remover because she thinks I am sniffing it. The smell is too strong for her. Therefore there is no way I could be using it with nail polish, I must be getting high. Tear my life. If anything she is making me miss...well I am not going to go there.

Found a job. Got excited. Then wasn't given all the proper information. Missed the training school. Tear my lfie. So no job. But started babysitting so that's money, it's cash, it's nice, the kids are good, back to waking up early in the morning. YEA!

Let's talk about crazy friends. I thought the older I got some petty shit would disappear. Boy was I wrong. But I am learning and losing and winning along the way. It's getting easier letting people go. I no longer have the will or need to try to keeep them in my life or whatever. It's like bye bye. I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt.

Reading has become my passion once again and taking all of my money. But it eases my mind, make me happier.

I have been thinking about my dad lately. Random in my eyes.

I am truly looking for understanding, for direction. I want to make my own solid foundation. Sometimes I feel a part of me is missing, and I don't know what part or why. I am interested in moving. THinking about NEw Orleans because of all the new business coming their way. Like the Trump TOwers. Hmm.......