Sometimes its easier to say how I'm feeling, really feeling here.
And then sometimes I blog, but don't publish the blog because some thoughts don't need reactions/opinions.

Today was horrible. Finally broke down and told my friends how I feel, how I've been feeling (overwhelmed,sad). I feel comfort in knowing my friends have my back but not really better.

I wear a smile well. I've made an art of deflecting attention away so you don't notice what's going on.

My moms doctors apt didn't go well today. She was just off, her mind was all over the place and the doctor ordered an mri. smh.

February just sucks because I think of my dad. But this year I'm thinking of him more. Not sure if its because of the life decisions I'm having to make for myself and my mom, or just regular grief.

Don't get it twisted, I'm blessed. And there are many happy, fulfilling moments in my life. Not all my smiles and jokes are fake. Made a couple of new friends even.

I just have to ask for help. I have to stop being so stubborn (main trait of a taurus lol). And holding feelings inside is a habit I've picked back up smh. Like a volcano, I know better.

I'm just a work in progess. I'm growing up. I feel like I'm becoming a strong, more aware adult.

Life isn't perfect, but I'm glad for the one I have :)