The ill Dirty Talk....

So we all have heard of or experienced the act of "Phone Sex." Well, for the first time in my life, I experienced "Dirty Text Messages/Text Message Sex/Clicking Freaky." What would be a cool name for that?

It was weird. Around 3am I recieved some messages from Jermaine the Lame. The basic, "I miss you" "Where are you?".....then it went to a place that I couldn't quite follow.......

.......at first......

It was almost better than phone sex, I mean the anticipation of the next message coming was crazy.

His creative placement of words.

His speedy response.

His ability to text fast.

Then I thought, this is some bad joke, I can't respond.

I must say, those Romance novels I tend to read came in handy.

It was......Something fun...Something random....Something different......

Don't think I could ever initiate an actual text convo......but ooo wee lol

Not really a turn-on but a great game to play. Especially if you around people and you read the text message and all of a sudden you start blushing and giggling....mischief!

Hats off to Jermaine the Lame for opening up a new door, even thou it's not that new. Wonder what's next........

I'm offended because...

A friend of mine is truly happy that R.Kelly was found not guilty on all of his charges. WTF?? I know the chick was experienced in the video, and fully knew what she was doing, but she was still like 13 years old. Let us not forget Aaliyah was 15 when they had their "marriage." How can you like "I believe I can fly" so much that you would excuse his nastiness? She has lost cool points.

I am no longer in contact with my best friend. That friendship just foolywanged out of control. But it IRKS THE SHIT OUT OF ME, when people ask how she is doing. Knowing damn well I don't know and don't care. Like they get a kick out of seeing my ill facial expression. Then I have to try to fix my face or hold my tongue from saying something out of line.

The Photographer still acts shy around me. What do I have to do, to get him to jump that damn hurdle? I mean we have great convo, he blushes, I blush.....but no.....guess he's taking his time. And I would appreciate a patient guy due to my crazy/spontaneous behavior. OMG, he is a cutie but damn damn damn, when is he going to "take my picture?" And when I say "take my picture" I mean "take my picture."

While I was walking in a parking lot, a car drove by with their windows down. Of course it was some females in their, and they proceeded to have a full out debate about my ass. Umm.....the windows are down....Ummm....my ass is real.....Ummm.....don't hate on the shape......Ummm.....I can't help it moves when I walk, has it's own mind back there. Out of line females. Why is it so hard to believe asses still exist on black girls?

How come at Sting all the groups of black girls have kicked their token white girl out the group and have now accepted an asian chick? So white isn't hot anymore? Asian chicks do it better? I have never seen so many asian chicks hanging with black girls in my life! Made me think do I need to go get my friends from high school, bring them to Dallas, and show them off like a prize??

A girl I know, she's black, said she no longer dates black men. A black man overheard, and told her off. Later I saw him talking to another female, she was not black at all........I don't get it.

There are barely any Cheddars or On The Borders in Houston. Maybe one and they are in random parts. I really could use a margarita, some ribs, and chocolate cake!

Today is Father's Day. I lost my father. Television is showing every fatherly commercial known to man. My homegirl is talking about her ill relationship with her father. My mother wasn't appreciative or understanding when I reached out to her, basically saying she is my father. Just got a message from Mr.Psycho Duck asking if I was ok. So nice right....well I just got the message, which was followed with another message saying I was wrong for not responding. DAMN, can I get some minutes to say thankyou. Annoying. Once again, people being selfish about their motives intentions without giving a flying fuck about my feelings. Goes for the former bestfriend.

Lil Wayne....great CD....random placement and choice of songs....random collaborations.....missing songs I would love to hear....."A Milli" isn't recieving the praise it deserves.....still do better man! Don't tell me you are the greatest, change the date whole bunch of times , and this is what I get, ill!

The Cluster

Lastnight I attended a party with Ms. Diva and Ms. Random (she is called this because she does the most random things ever imagined). The party was wack, so it gave me alot of time to inspect the slim pickings available.

a.) The Short Man: I can't put my finger on it, but the look I get from him makes me nervous. I don't know if he looks at me like a tree, or a king size chocolate bar. When he talkes to me, he has to look me up and down throughout the whole ordeal. I guess sizing me up, debating the height difference, I don't know. Either way, I prefer a man I can look up to...

b.) The "I Thought You Were Married" Man: A guy, who I thought got married last year, sure isn't acting like it. The hugs he gave me were a tad bit different. THe conversations he was having with other females was touchy feeley on a whole different type of touchy feeley level. I remember when he would tote his wife everywhere, now she just done disappeared. Makes me nervous, because if I hadn't of gone to UNT I wouldn't know he was married. Because the ring he forgets to wear doesn't give a clue.....

c.) The "I Am Only Talking To You Because My Homeboi Is Talking To Your Friend" Man: Umm....you don't have to! And then when I don't tune into his wack/meaningless conversation, dude gets offended. We both know that if homegirl wasn't talking to your homeboi, you either wouldn't have the confidence to talk to me, or would just look then look the other way. Just needs to stop! Let us not waste eachtoher's time is my motto. And to be honest.....not interested lol!

d.) The "You Need To Smile/Why Won't You Smile" Man: I have talked about this one before. I don't get it. Is that the only line, opening line, you think that would work? Can I get a bit more effort? Guess I am asking for too much. THen want to have a whole convo about how I don't smile, why I am not smiling, what can happen for me to smile, the evaluaiton of the smile......boo!

e.) T.O.: I am not a fan of this football player. First of all, who has a party and then shows up wearing pajamas. Ms. Diva tried to tell me it was some type of linen outfit, hell no. Linen isn't that relaxed. THen had the nerve to be flooding. How do you have millions of dollars T.O. and can't afford to get your linen/pjs tailored? Then walked around the party with his bodyguard....ummmm why do you need a bodyguard? You are not Will Smith, a type of celebrity who could get swarmed. What was funny, was that people didn't even recognize him. Maybe because of the tacky outfit, or the fact he was bigger than his bodyguard, or the fact he was walking around with a stick up his ass. Ummm BOO! I feel like people shouldn't throw parties if they can't do a good job.

f.) Mr. "I Am Going To Stare At You And Walk By You And Not Talk To You But Stare You Down" Man: Just stop the madness. You are making me nervous and fearful of you. I am having to look over my back when I should be concentrating on my dance moves. You could have the opportunity to talk to me, but you are showcasing stalkerish tendencies......wee-oh wee-oh

The party was wack, but it did give me time to really think about what type of man I want and what type of woman I need to be for him.

Answer to previous comment......."Where do I meet these individuals?"

Well, the men mentioned in this blog were at a party. But some guys have been from social functions, to friendship connections, to random encounters.

Drawbacks

Junior Junior Junior: could become Mr. Psyco Junior. Well, he just makes me nervous. Decided to come to Houston, chill with my moms, and made sure not to tell him. I don't want to run into him, don't want to hear him run his mouth (ooo wee can he talk), don't want to have to look at him really. He isn't the same guy anymore. I no longer see him as confident. He is simply egotistical and off and on insecure. I no longer see the cool, in control guy. I see someone who trips on insignificant details. Umm, boo, don't support the craziness.
But I think he has a sixth sense. Negro has been calling me and sending uncomfortable text messages.....One said "Can you draw?" ummm.......desperate for a response he didn't get. THen I got some words about how I didn't respond to the text messages, and therefore I am......Disrespectful. The balls he thinks he has to say that. I give up. I walk away....really a good run.

Mr. Psycho Duck: Apparently still reads the blog. So, I can't freely express how I feel about that subject. He gets a kick out of seeing his name and I guess reading the foolishness that he does.

Mr. Miami: so excited.....Miami here I come. Time to go into my alter ego of.....Amber, lol. Same ole same ole. I just want to sit by the beach, eat, drink cocktails, get toasted, eat some more, take a quick nap, and go out, party, and come back to Texas, lol!
This guy is older, but wiser. I like him, he's easy to talk to , we have alot in common, he hasn't shown any stalker/scary tendencies (YEA). His friends are cool. He's not flashy. Umm, did I say he is CUBAN!!

Jermaine the Lame: don't know what's going on in that department, but all I know is nothing. He seems in then he seems out. He's available and then becomes unavailable. Taking it slow has seemed to be the best key, but I still have the feeling.....that this negro is married. I haven't heard from him in a minute, so the decision to stop calling and stop liking him is cool. Kind of sucks, cuz he was shaping up for potential.
And he refuses to send me picture of his hair. He is in the beginning stages of getting his dreads, I want to see the damage, if it's good or bad. Uhh, I hope they are alright. But it doesn't matter, homeboi is still in Chicago.

Really....DID THE FOLLOWING ISH REALLY HAPPEN......OHH and the following is not for children.....

A guy I used to talk to...

Nothing serious....

Hung out with him and my friends after a night out...

At his condo....

I recieved some special treatment.....

Then one friend and I went on a food run....

While on the food run......

He gave my other a friend a special treatment....

Got back with the food....

While we ate, we debated politics......

Obama vs. Clinton.....

Umm....

He can't vote......

Some downtime occurred....

He offered special treatment to my other friend....

She turned it down....

While on the way home....

Me and friend found out our similar experience.....

We laughed....

Other friend sulked....

No Special Treatment For Her.......

Junior Junior

Called me around 11pm,about something that happened 1 month ago.

THE SOMETHING: I went to a pool hall to hang with my Hooters Crew. Turns out Junior was there,wearing this black suit. I was already on the phone talking to Ms.Princess when I arrived. While in convo,he came over,said a few things,we hugged,he went back to his reserved spot.
HIS ISSUE: I didn't do enough. I somehow should've done better....?
MY IRRITATION: Calling me a month later on some bullshit. Thinking he deserves attention/affection/effort and we've never been on a date or dated officially. We shared a kiss....and it wasn't like a kiss that I would change my name over. I wasn't there for him. I don't support PDA or encouragement of weird uncomfortable situations with guys who wear black suits in a pool hall.

I don't support the foolishness. I can't understand why he thought I would get off the phone,or stop drinking my marvelous long island iced tea to stroke his ego or take up time. BOO!

If I would of held off cooking my maple sugar bacon I wouldn't have heard all of the shitty shit coming out of his mouth. Damn me and my attention to food. Might I suggest to everyone to go out and buy some maple sugar bacon....umm!!

ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS NOT SOMEONE I TALK TO OR TEXT. JUST RANDOMNESS HE DECIDED TO COOK UP ON A TUESDAY NIGHT.

Then his idiotic ass called his voicemail,while I'm on the phone,so I could hear a message from Ms.Princess. Um duh, Ms.Priness is my bestfriend,I know all about it. I also know about all the pathetic text messages and phone calls you have sent her even though you know she is dating your homeboi.

While licking the butter off the knife...

So, this honey butter is just delicious. The bread and crackers in my house are not safe. Which means I am still staying 500 feet away. I guess you could call this Day 2 if I was in a "program."

And thanks to the comments,they helped in my treatment,lol.

I must take it back to the word "bitchassness."
My apts: while I'm taking a nap,I get a notice at like 4:30pm dated back from May. Telling me I have 24 hours to pay an amount. I can't call the manager,because she is already out the door...predictable. Not helping!
Mr. Psycho Duck: read the blog and I guess it didn't meet his standards....umm my truth remember,my blog! I don't get why people read the blog knowing they are in it and then disagree with my opinion. Well, he claims he's not going to read anymore,holla!! I won't have to receive random text messages from him. And then have to blog about it.
BottleMan: thought he was going to be a potential "keeper", but he's turning out to be a potential "scary!" For my birthday I had planned on getting a bottle but the club was giving me the runaround. So I ended up staying at home watching movies (I mean I had partied enough already). Ohh, I had mentioned to him about my troubles. The next day he tells me he got me a table and bottles........LATE MUCH? And had the nerve to cop an attitude,your fault. Maybe a call or text would've been nice to let me know of the gift. Well, he continues to call/text, back me into a corner. I don't like being made feel guilty, or being showered with stuff for someone's EGO!! You would think an older businessman would have more sense when trying to earn a younger woman's attention!
NBC/MSNBC: the way they attack Senator Clinton is disgusting. Anything she says, or any action she takes is too weak or too aggressive. They fail to acknowledge the shortcomings of Obama or the many times he has contradicted himself. They fail to inform the power Mccain has on potentially shutting down the Obama Train of Change. Most people who are down for politics now, don't truly understand politics. Everyone has forgotten that Gore lost even thou he won the popular vote.......

BITCHASSNESS..............

So, even with my apartment complex trying to take all my money, I am thankful. That I have a few dollaz to buy honey butter, that honey butter makes me happier than any man,and I have somewhere to sit down and spread my honey butter on bread.

Old habits tend to die hard!!

It sucks when you get bored...and think to entertain yourself...with foolish situations...with people you should keep at least 500 hundred feet away.

Lately my life consists of the basics. Fulfilling but not provacative. I should be enjoying the peace more than I am, but an itty bitty part of me (not my titties for you jokesters), is looking for something. What, I don't know.

I know I shouldn't be looking in the direction of Mr. Psycho Duck, or any of the Nigerians listed in my phone as "Don't Answer", or Shortie Glow. But sometimes when I'm not eating,sleeping,reading.surfing,dancing,talking....u get it...my evil mind plays tricks on me and encourages me to stir it up. TRAGIC. I blame my imagination on my only-child-existence.

Mr. Psycho Duck brought a lot of heaven and hell in my life,nothing in between. Black and white and no damn grey. Decided to reach out to him after I found out, well he informed me he knew of my blog. (and he's killing me at 29,tear) Found out more about his adventures with his dick while we were in our "situation." Found out 1 situation that actually hurt. I planned on fun convos and more proof he is truly psycho. But what I got was a realization of what our "situation" really was,basically his funny story/my tragedy. So...I learned...curiosity is a killa...and Mr. Psycho Duck's is a career mind fucker. That is not a compliment Kendrick.

The Nigerians...well they are a group/gang/organization in Dallas. Drama is what they brought to my life and continue to do so. I know not all Nigerian men are like them: obsessed, aggressive,mean,controlling,extremely passionate,gossipers...But there were times I felt safe, happy and even lucky with them all in the mixer. Saw Shortie Fat Fuck/Shortie Doo Whop and it was so uncomfortable. It's taking all of me to not make it easier, call him, listen to his argument,turn it around on him, and WHALA! But I've learned....thru many signals/signs/events, that I would signing over my honor (couldn't think of another word lol). So I haven't made the call,thanks to the groceries I just bought,so lets hope I remain smart.

Shortie Glow has a crush on me. Has had one for a long time. I used to, but the chemistry wasn't there. We went on a date, spent the whole day together, went to sleep,nothing happened,nothing was tried,and everytime thereafter we ran/run into eachother it's weird. He throws parties and has never put me on the list, hooked me up in some kind of way, or even like a drink. But when the All White Party came around, he told me days later he wouldve put me on the list, which meant I wouldn't have had to pay 100. Umm late! And if he wanted me there, could you invite me, say you want to see me, anything? Not saying I deserve it but damn can I get an offer? I don't know if it is the race difference but he steps to me like a nervous middle schooler. I need a guy to talk it straight, not beat around the bush or be scared to flirt/engage/entice/shit something...People I am thinking of testing him out. Even though I know a lot is missing between me and him. I haven't gotten a free dinner lately,ohh that's bad to say,lol. Great to have someone into me, but I want to be into them. I don't want to play and pretend, I want to enjoy and have fun.

I know I need to stay away from the above subjects. I know that I am too addicted to this honey butter I just got. I know I am a work in progress and this blog is my outlet.
But...........