I feel the need to say....

History came in town today. A part of me got excited, while the rest of me was like "oh yea, a glimpse of what could of been." So, yea, I stayed at home. It would have been nice to reunite, party together, have din din, but in the end it would be a tease. No more teases without a guarantee.

Going to the Texans v Raiders game tomorrow, EXCITED. I love football, but I really love to go to games. The energy, the food, the entertainment....the food. And we have good seats so we're by the really good food spots.

stuck on this J Cole CD....goodness in  19 tracks :). I have listened to every track and I can say I only dislike one, Mr. Nice Watch. His tone is weird to me plus Jay Z tries to come in and save it....and it could have just been left alone.

PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE BITES FROM WALMART SAVES LIVES.

New obsessed customer of Revlon Color Burst Lip Gloss. I swear every time I wear Hot Pink something nice happens or I get compliments. Either way, I'm hooked. Plus the packaging is nice and its only like 7 dollars.

Finally finished the sequel to Midnight. Sister Souljah just loves to drag simple things out. But good read if you have the time and patience.

I am  now also obsessed with the author Teri Woods and her tales of the hood/hustler/dealing/distributor life.

Yea........dude I've been up and arms about, texted and tweeted today. Not sure if that's a good thing, or a by chance thing. Not sure what else to say about that.....except a real ass conversation needs to happen. I mean, grey areas are not the business whatsoever. Yea, you can say I hope for the best and by best I mean best for me lol

Man......today was a great day with my mom. She was in a great mood. I love it when its like we're partners in crime. We got back to the house and homegirl was pooped out. Hopefully tomorrow she has a great day as well. Love her to pieces!

Hola new readers :).

Duped

I got duped by someone I care about recently. Getting duped messes with your ego, your thoughts, hell even my appetite (had some freaky cravings).

Maybe I shouldn't have cared to the limit that I did, maybe I should have been more sharing with my true feelings...either way....

I learned something :)

I know now I need to be more present in situations. I need to not be afraid to be honest with my feelings. Sacrifice a little pride. Trust.

Sometimes I wish I could just read it in a manual, or have a little post it note left on my mirror. The tears, the confusion, the silence could have been avoided, well I would have preferred it.

Suffer thru the experiences to gain valuable lessons?? Completely worth it.

If I could tell him the truth without looking desperate and pathetic I would. I tried putting my words together and my friends were like....you know what makes you look like...tear smh...erase*erase*erase* lol

I'm not gonna waste my time and energy bashing him, blaming him. That does nothing but take time away from me making the necessary changes in myself. All I can say is I appreciated Bootsy's presence in my life and it will be missed. It is what it is.

No regrets, just more memories.

But go ahead to Walmart and buy some Peanut Butter Fundge No Bakes!!!!!!!!

I have a best guy friend, I have a best guy friend who is single (well now that's up for debate, keep reading). Never once has there been a mention of a girl, girlfriend, side piece, wifey, hoe, jumpoff, cookie, nookie, boo, baby, baby mamma, "homegirl", "play sis"....nada.

While waiting to go home, a young extremely drunk woman came up to me and said, "arrren't yyouuu Veronica, Veronica Storm?" Me: "Ummmmmm, kind of?"

Immediately I'm on guard because #1 Who is this person? #2 Why are calling me by my twitter name? #3 Is this a situation? #4 So sloppy drunk??

Her response to me was, "I'm _______ girlfriend."

****PAUSE*****

Who does that in real life? Who in their "right" mind would introduce themselves to a complete stranger and not even give their name, just their self appointed title....smh

Of course I was deeply confused and could only muster up a "wwwwwhhhhhhhaaaattt???!!!" and she hit me with her self appointed title again.

I'm assuming she views me as a threat, or thinks our friendship is more than just friends, but.....inappropriate.

If you have to introduce yourself to your "boyfriends(girlfriends)" friends/family, he's(she's) not your boyfriend(girlfriend). If you feel threatened by a relationship of his(hers) and he(she) hasn't given you reassurance, he's(she's) not your boyfriend(girlfriend).

I need people to truly understand, define and seek what a true relationship is. I need people to do their homework/research before they go around assuming shit and starting trouble.

That situation could have turned into a horrible situation because 2 people lack any sort of communication.

Trust and believe, my homie and I are going to have a good wholesome put the shit on the table type conversation because I don't need that shit in my life.

Someone needs to be checked, either her, him or both. What if I had reacted angrily or she had tried to come for me.

Making me reconsider twitter.....smh

1977

Now I am not a huge Dream fan but his latest mix tape is "MUSIC." I have listened to it over and over again. My fave track so far is "Wake Me When Its Over."

The name of the mix tape is called 1977.

The link is: http://www.radiokillarecords.com/

I suggest you download it.

Even if you are not a Dream fan, just give it a try. Or listen to the lyrics.

I can hear his effort, his passion, his skill on this mix tape. Honestly gained respect for him as an artist.

But I wish albums measured up to mix tapes...

Mom...the good times

Sometimes I only tweet, update my status when times are rough with my mom. But that's because I know my friends, followers, strangers, whomever will send me some much needed love.

Well today I had a great early dinner with my mom. It was nice sharing a meal and I began to think of all the nice dinners, nice moments we do have. And how I need to focus on those to remember her by, not the negative effects of the disease.

It also made me appreciate her more for who she is. I wish before this all went down, we would have had more moments as these. I wish I had been more aggressive in improving our relationship. I wish we could have been closer, because I'm seeing traits of my mom I never got to see....

I don't' think I got to see them because my mom was very uptight and bougie. I never really got to hear her make jokes, and let loose because as she said it was either out of place, uncouth, inappropriate.

Now I get to see my mom is funny, insightful, spunky, appreciative, sensitive and at times freaky (quite creepy to hear her comments but funny as hell).

I used to think we didn't have anything in common, now I see we do.

Blessed :) Awesome Feelings Here :)

Some ingredients don't mix....

Not sure exactly why but I've never been apart of a one clique/group only. I have all types of friends. Some know each other, some don't. And it doesn't always work when they are joined.

Recently I hung out with 2 friends and man I don't think I want to hang out with them combined again. It was like they both gained a new attitude, like the air that they breathed was of higher quality.

Thank goodness I am able to adapt or adjust, otherwise my feelings would have been hurt or maybe theirs would have been, who knows....all I know is, I wasn't cool enough for the frequent whispers,eye glances, what have you.

I felt like I was at a sleepover where everyone who RSVP didn't show up except me and the 2 intended mean girls lol.

I realized then how some ingredients don't mix, and friendship wise I can't deal with their combined dish. I appreciate them as individuals, feel no ill feelings towards them, but as a combo I could say or do something that potentially end 2 friendships from their one. I REALLY HOPE Y'ALL GOT THAT LAST SENTENCE.

Interesting how that can happen.....

Friends....get some,real ones!

Last night I was reminded how blessed I've been in the friendship department...

A friend of friend was celebrating her birthday last night. My friends and I joined along. Thank God we did, because we were able to save her....literally

I understand when I was their age I wanted to have a great time, live life, but I never did at the expense of a friend (especially if it was their bday and they were drunk off their ass).

Glad we were able to step in and make sure she still had a great time while keeping her safe.

Think I'm overexaggerating?

At one point we went to them to tell them we had lost track of her and needed their help to locate her...their response "ummm, idk, who cares. we've been over here so {{shrugs}}" and they continued to drink.

ummm really?

And at the end of the night lied to us saying that they would look out for her, they checked on ehr...she was in the backseat with us...smh

Experiencing her "groupie ass friends" reminded me how blessed I am today, and how blessed I've been my whole life with friends. Loyalty, honesty, commitment, trust has been a common thread throughout all of my friends today or from the past.

At some point we all have to figure out our own definition of friendship and what kind of friends we want/need and what kind of friend we will be.

At some point we discover there are different levels/kinds of frienship and have to act accordingly to that individual.

I hope bday girl hears us

A Single Creepy Story...

couple of nights ago a friend of mine asked me to go with her to her friend's birthday party. Of course I said yes because I needed to be distracted from sitting in the house, thinking about this and that (check 2 blogs ago).

We arrive and are introduced to this decent looking Australian men. Now usually I'm attracted to every Australian man I meet, but this one had more of a body of 17 year old British guy. Not my type. I like a man to have dark skin whatever race/ethnicity he may be.

He was very flirtatious, which was nice, and didn't mind throwing a compliment or two my way (much needed/much appreciated).

It was when he went to get a glass that he rubbed up against my butt. I'm assuming it was his first big real bootie experience. He turned around and was like, "omg, your bum its so.....omg its real too....its soft and wow"

Of course my friend and I are dying laughing at this point. But I'm also thinking in my head, "hmmm, he can appreciate my pear shape....think about it, consider"

Then he just had to ruin my moment.

Creep factor went up 10k points when he decided to do a double grab on my friend and I....she had on short shorts, I had on a skirt. INAPPROPRIATE. THIS IS NOT A BUFFET OF ASSES.

The rest of the evening consisted of me sitting down every time he came near, not listening to his compliments and trying not to be like "FUCK OFF."

As we made our exit, who do you know follows us in the parking lot, Creepy Australian guy does. And then once again tells me about my "bum." And once again goes too far and grabs me saying, "did you drive." As if I would say "YES DADDY" and follow him to whatever destination he had planned.

Being single I try to keep my mind/eyes open to different possibilities...but that was not an option for me...but I will refer to my ASS now as a BUM....

Things you should try if you haven't....

listen to "She Will" by Lil Wayne, Drake and Rick Ross while looking in the mirror getting dressed/undressed. Something about that beat makes feel all devilish and sexy....

CenterCourt Pizza. Only locations are in Pearland and Missouri City but...its so good!

Fist Pumping all night, equivalent to doing a 6 sets of arm curls in the gym.

Saying "Gyming" instead of "working out." Folks look at me crazy but I'm over saying working out.

Having a dance session in the middle of the street downtown, but sober.

quality reality tv: The A List: New York season 1&2. Just go to logotv.com

hawaiian sandwich bread, makes my plain turkey sandwiches so much more enjoyable

grocery shopping night. they restock the shelves, bakes goods get slashed to like a dollar and its quiet.

Twitter.

Getting rid of negative people. Breath of fresh air and a weight lifted.

I didn't know.....

So....I've exhausted every avenue of dealing with this issue (a person of interest.) I decided to blog about it because maybe getting it out and reading it back will get me to some point of conclusion or direction.

I care for dude, genuinely care for this dude. (I'm only saying dude cuz I'm not going to say his name)

Days have gone by with no communication and I don't understand why. There was no argument, altercation to lead to this. Mind you we talk all day everyday. If its through phone calls, texts, pictures, tweets, emails...something. And now nothing is a mild form of torture (mental anguish). Especially with all this time I have on my hands.

Don't get me wrong, I've tried to keep busy as hell. Working out, getting on my moms nerves (lol), reading, playing with the dogs, doing favors for folks, running errands, reaching out to friends, cleaning....etc

Of course I've already debated back and forth should I call first, make the first move to at least get an answer. But fear and history is holding me back. And the days before this silence the phone calls were brief/short/un-returned. I've even laid of twitter so I don't go on a rant (we follow each other)

vulnerbilatity....ugh

I'm the type of person who likes an answer or explanation regardless if its positive or negative, regardless if it will hurt my feelings or make me a better person. I'd rather nip it in the but than this.....

...the Taurus in me?

I never imagined I would be married, living in a house with 2 kids by 27, but I thought I would at least have a clearer understanding of the opposite sex, relationships. Maybe even be in one. I feel more clueless than when I was 16 year old virgin.

I even asked married folks, older folks, single folks, young folks, males, females, gay folks, any body that could at least help me. And all are the same in not understanding this individual or situation anymore than I do.

If we're destined to just be friends, lovers, enemies, memories, etc....I just want to know. When someone can discard you this easily it hurts like no other.

But.....don't get it twisted I'm still blessed :)

Back Again

That moment you remember you have a blog and haven't blogged since January because you visited another blog that just totally irked your mind....yea....

Seriously though, twitter took my need to blog. Instead of composing my thoughts into some clever sentencing, I can just tweet the thought right then and there.....added bonus is I get immediate feedback.

@veronicastorm (yep I plugged the name)

Updates

Mommy

My mother is still physically healthy but battling a never ending mind battle of Alzheimer's. Its getting more and more frustrating to accept the fact she's not going to get better. That one day it will be hard for her to call my name, associate me as her daughter....etc. But we've been spending a lot more time together which has helped me to appreciate her even more. I wish we could have done this years ago but it wasn't meant to be. Everyday I try to make sure we do an activity but its hard when she's not in the mood or fearful of her surroundings. But I do my best to keep her happy. I love her, but I wish I could do more. She did so much for me, not just being my mom, but my dad as well. All I can is my best in this situation and make the best decisions for her. I'm all she has, she's all I have :)

Dating. Men. The Struggle.

I've come to learn that being single is a growth experience but at the same time a challenging experience. One minute I think I have the answer the next minute I'm back to square one. I am single but my attention concentrates on one man in particular. That attention came naturally, unintentionally. Hard to decide how to navigate in that situation because of all the humps and hurdles. Keeping and open eye and mind as best as I can. But with the situation with my mom, I see the importance of companionship. Even if it doesn't go thru to the altar, people should take more chances in finding someone. Shouldn't wait till you get "successful" or wait for the "one." I'm willing to take chances, make mistakes, create memories. Hopefully someone is willing to do the same :)

Family (blood/non blood)

Trying. Pressuring. Judgemental. Disappointing. Conditional Love.

Me. Extra Info.

Been doing a lot of reading lately. Its my fav hobby and relaxes me. I don't have to worry about reality and like I always say, it's the cheapest vacation out there. I've also been trying to write, get my thoughts out of my head and hopefully compose into a book. I would love to write about my experience with my mom&Alzheimer's as well as realistic fictional stories that young woman can identify with.

Another tid bit, started to exercise. About to subscribe to Women's Health Magazine and join a gym. I need to turn my physical health around, get my metabolism back to moving. I don't want to be in my thirties looking at old pictures depressed or in the doctors office praying for good news.

Well I miss sharing my thoughts with friends and strangers. So blogging has to return to my daily routine, suffer with me :)

wow....

I tried a new support group today (for Alzheimers). It was held at an actual assisted living facility. I was optimistic walking in, during the session I held it together, but as I toured the place......my emotions began to spin out of control. Somehow I managed not to let it out until I got home. It was horrible, still feels horrible.

Regardless of how nice a place is, or how friendly the people are, I still have to make the decision to put my mom somewhere. How can I do that? She deserves to be in her house, living her life. Not on a schedule, not confined.

What will I do with my life without her?

I'm going to have to make some major decisions this year, but I'm not ready to make them. But there is no one else that can. My family could care less and wouldn't even notice.

I feel alone. I have great friends, I have a great support system, but I can't tell them how I REALLY feel.

And if I couldn't get any weaker, I have a spiffy with my person of interest (as I call him). Couple of years ago, I wouldve been able to let it roll of my back or move on. Yesterday and today I just feel real bad about it. I don't even feel comfortable enough to let him know how much I care for him. Its sad....

Does that make me weak, pathethic? I would like a chance to date, maybe fall in love. But am I ready for what comes along with that? Doubt, idk, no.....

Writing here because my thoughts and feelings are safe here. No judgements or worries. No having to explain myself, prove myself.

People really don't want to "hear"me. And I can't put that on someone.

I hope I find some answers soon or they find me.

Current Events have been ridiculous....

I don't remember a time where I was was confused watching the news or reading articles on line. From politics to celebrity gossip nothing makes sense.

Tiny gives a hand job to TI and gets caught by guards??

I don't know whether to laugh or feel pity for this couple. Not only can y'all not stay out of jail, y'all can't even act right while TI is in. I also feel like TI could afford to pay someone to do that for him. Can't be that desperate. I would understand full on sex or oral...over a middle school movie theatre date 2nd base act.

http://http://theybf.com/2011/01/06/i-got-beat-ti-and-tiny-caught-in-the-act-during-visiting-hours

Obama's team keeps changing???

Once again, seems like every few months, somebody moves around in Obama's camp. I don't know whether to be glad he is able to make decisions without worrying about fallout or begin to worry what's really going on behind closed doors.

http://http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/01/06/obama.daley/index.html?hpt=T1

Woman writes a suicide note,gets mocked,then committs act????

So a woman decided to post a suicide note on facebook (yep big mistake). I bet she thought it could be one last effort to see if someone would care, last cry for help. Boy was she wrong, over a hundred rude, mocking comments. Next day, the police found her dead body. Now her wall is full of love....side eye!!

http://http://gawker.com/5726958/facebook-suicide-note-gets-mocked-turns-out-to-be-real

Snooki, the new face of an empire???

I think its amazing that this little nugget of a human being is taking control of her 15 minutes of fame. Really she has passed her 15 minutes because she is a household name. Read the article. I'm still schocked homegirl "wrote a book"

http://http://gawker.com/5726271/snooki-is-building-an-empire?skyline=true&s=i

F Bar?????

New club in Houston is opening with this name. Blatant much...

http://http://www.29-95.com/bars-clubs/story/f-bar

These recent stories have made me do all kind of facial expressions lately. Hopefully you can make more sense of them than I could....