Tried being nice...

So I've learned the past couple of weeks that when I am nice, friendly to the opposite sex, it doesn't quite work in my favor.

Oh but when I'm rude, cocky, would you believe men come raining just making themselves to available, too aggressive, too needy....get it?

So what is a girl to do?

Can't really ask my elders, they didn't really have to deal with so much bitchass, flip floppy behavior?

Can't ask chicks younger because their idea of a good man is Soulja Boy....

Would ask my friends, but hell we all confused just trying to get thru a date without committing suicide...smh....crucial.... uh yea

FOR EXAMPLE

A man texted me to go out. Texted me late and had no set plans.

Nope Nope. Staying in my house.

I responded with "ugh no"

This set him off in a few comparisons of American women to "worldly women"

But he was born and raised in Houston.....side eye

His claim to judge was because he worked a couple of years overseas.

Of course I tried to be nice.

He wasn't so much.

NIGGA HAD NERVE TO NOT KNOW HOW TO SPELL!!

But did I expose his extreme inability to spell a word, no.

Let it go.

He "let it go".

Saw him yesterday.

He apologized and asked for another chance.

SIDE EYE

So......

I think I will just stick to myself, close my eyes and hope for the best lol

Itch I cant scratch...

Ever had a former friend, an enemy, a stranger (who wants to know you so bad) do everything in their power to make their prescense known. Just stand as close as they can to you, join conversations they were not apart of, keep walking near you, accidentally bumping into you...ugh....

Last night I had a former friend do some of these tactics. My favorite was when they felt the need to stare in my direction for long periods at a time. ummmm, I see you! Like my outfit, yay or nay?

When folks act like a tick/fly its almost flattering. That they think a little of attention from little ole me will somehow make their world right. {{ shrugs }}

All I could do was smile and continue whatever dance I was doing at the time. If I wanted you in my life you would be. Just let it go before it turns into something creepy.....

don't blink

Shoutout to @LoveAlexandria for the peer pressure.
I joined tumblr like millions of other Americans.
Link to the right. But for those that don't want to look....
veronicastorm.tumblr.com
Something else for me to add to my daily tasks. lol. yea

Anyways.....

I have been having short conversations with a particular person on twitter. Would you know he holds my interest than some who I can actually touch and smell? Well, he's currently overseas so our convos have been limited to the 140 character limit. But now because of a great hustle, lol, I will be getting a blackberry shipped to me in the mail. So we can bbm as he suggested.

At first I tried to just go buy a blackberry. But then I realized, remembered, I hate blackberry phones. Then AT&T was going to charge me an arm and leg. So like hundreds of dollars for a month. umm no.

But he did offer to "send some dollars" because he wants to talk more. Love the offer but pride won't allow.

But he is showing mad effort, interest.

oh....and don't jump off any cliffs lol. have a great night

Another use for my mirror...

So my homegirl, Ladi L aka Miss Dallas (twitter: @MissDallas09), is booking performances like crazy. She is a certified rap artist. Next to blow out of Texas.



Guess who she asked to be her hypeman......yep....me. Hilarious? yes. Real? yes.



My first time onstage with her was last Sunday at the Los Magnificos Car Show. Talk about nerves and butterflies. Whew, how do performers do it night after night, I don't know. Your judges are right in front of you, judging lol.



She did great, of course! I froze a little in the beginning. Well alot. Claimed my spot top left part of the stage. Then I got more comfortable, followed her lead, interacted with the crowd.



Not as easy as anyone makes it look. Big to small artist.



Your job is to support the artist, get the crowd involved and excited, not embarass the artist either.



I knew for sure she was going hit me with "hey Amber, I think we're going to go a different direction." lol. Nope. Show tomorrow night and Saturday.



Well, all I know is I'm all up in my mirror practicing, cuz the last thing I want to do is mess up her glorious opportunities.



Once again, have a great day!

Date to a Wedding...

So an ex asked me to a wedding.... STOP SIGN

What color would you plan to wear to the wedding? RED LIGHT ~~ what? who coordinates? so does that mean I'm off limits to the other single men in the wedding?

And the groom is someone who used to be highly interested in me.... caution sign

Also, there is no date set..... sign of shotgun wedding

"Maybe we'll both get there and realize something... yellow light he's so full of shit lol

This phone conversation is hilarious. I swear he just does stuff to entertain himself. I can't lie he entertains me too. But too bad this laughter and entertainment can't translate into a healthy relationship.

Green

...how do you know?

When is it ok to settle? When is it ok to hold out for something better? When is it time to make it work, or run like a scared lamb?

Dating, sexing, texting, chatting, tweeting, meeting, loving, befriending, hugging, kissing any type of interaction with the opposite sex has become dreadful as physics was to me freshman year of college.

I know I don't want it to be easy, but damn, I didn't want it to be confusing and an annoyance.

I honestly thought by this age I would be in a serious relationship. I wasn't looking to marriage and babies. I don't want babies!! maybe marriage??

I have looked at what I want versus what I need. I have listed the things I can't live without. I no longer waste my time with those I am not interested in (like dates with randoms, waste of my time).

I thought maybe internet dating but folks said that was just desperate and I'm not at the stage yet. I don't think its desperate, but at least I can shop for options. I thought maybe speed dating, but no one would dare go with me. Live on the edge a little bit ladies lol.

I have a twitter account, @veronicastorm, where men like to inbox/dm me with their interests. That just makes me nervous. Because I have no profile to base you on, and its too easy to judge your random thoughts (tweets).

So....I think I will just rely on this "feeling" everyone has talked about. Or this "inkling" that will have me pay attention. Or maybe this "sparkle" will appear and some corny love music will play in the background. idk, I would just settle for Jodeci, a king special from Frenchys and a big hug.

Everyone, just breathe and enjoy your day.

I'm Sharing This Video With You For XMAS Joy

Merry Christmas!!

Short&Sweet

Yesterday I got a text that sent me into a quick crash mode. Crash mode is like that ugly slave cry and the inability to speak English. Yes, it was quite a scene. But that happens when a friend of yours decides out the blue they no longer want you in their life. Yep. Short and not sweet.

I even replied, you think I got a reply back? nope.

I get everyone has the right to make their own decisions about the friendships they want to keep or let go. But you shouldn't have to crush someone's feelings in the process. I was ignored for more than a week. It wasn't till I said I was driving over there till I got the short and sweet text.

I forgot to include that my friend said they would always be there for me. Really? Like you are here for me now. I don't know. All I know is you would think that after years of friendship I deserved a phone call, a meeting, or a text when the decision had been made.

So, I guess they can sit in their apartment comfortable with their decision. As I will have to do the same. I just hope I don't have to face a retraction. I'm not a fucking yo yo and won't be yanked around.

Thanks for the real moments and the acts.

Sure Thing Now...

Stopped by Lubys to get my mom dinner last night and ran into an author. She freely shared with me knowledge of her wirting process, mistakes to avoid and her previous work. I took it as a sign to stop being scary and nervous. Just dive in. Better to go back and fix things than to just think of what I could do.

I've always wanted to be a writer. I have concepts in my head. I can visually see the characters, I can see them like I know them. I want to put them on paper. Even if only my close friends read them, it will still be an accomplishment.

There is a void amongst African American fiction writiers that I think I can fill.

So, everyday I am dedicating time to write. And I'm excited to see what happens.

Everyone have a good day :)

Thanks Lil Kim....

Who would of thought that Lil Kim would be my savior today??? seriously though

....everyone on Twitter today is discussing the beef between Lil Kim and Nicki Minaj (#TeamLilKim by the way). So it motivated me to go back and listen to Kim's songs. Umm...hands down Kim wins. But it gave me a little "thug miss" attitude. Yes, in my bedroom, just saying "ugh" and grabbing my "balls." I don't have balls, but if I did man.

in-tee-waze (yep, say it out loud)

....A sound like "BOOM BOOM CRACK BOOM YA BOOM" all on my door. Like if the police were trying to kick in or a scorned baby mamma. Just my mother. Guess knocking and saying "open the door" wasn't enough. Of course from experience I know not to open the door. But wait till she has moved away just in case she's feeling physical (and not in a 80s pop song kind of way Olivia Newton John).

She goes ape shit. Says a whole bunch of things, breaks some stuff....yea, ape shit!

Used to it now. She has alzheimers. Sometimes they don't know how to vocalize how they feel. COuld be pent up tension/frustration from weeks. Could be she just got pissed she couldn't literally see me. Could be she heard me laugh and she's not laughing. Could be she remembered something that I did that actually she had every right to be pissed off. WHO KNOWS!

But.....THANKS TO LIL KIM....I was in thug mode. Didn't phaze one bit. Why? I had "No Time" a great song by her by the way.

oh.....last thing.....Black Friday, Lil Kim's response to Nicki Minaj was on point. No it doesn't have a in yo face beat, and no she is not speaking in different accents to get your attention. she's simply claiming her throne.

in-tee-waze (anways)

I just typed a whole blog.

it was great (well I think it was).

I went ot publish it and poof be gone.

I don't think I can re type all of those random thoughts.

I hope to be blogging more often.

peace.

Follow me on twitter @veronicastorm

Interesting

So......lets jump back in. I am going to make an attempt to blog more often. I always say, but this time I kind of mean it lol.

#UltimateFail Twitter is my new form of expression. Ridiculous. Notice the usage of the pound sign.

Randomly I tried to step my friendship rules up, and attempt to confront, release, comfort, help a friend. Well I guess she saw it coming from a mile away and backed her ass out of there. I just got tired of shaking my head at her, or explaining her to others or hell me staring at her like WTF?? But I now I am ok cuz that's where she is, and that is where she is comfortable. Not up to me to make change.

Update on mi mama, she is doing fantabulous. Not as many blow ups as before. She seems happier. She spent a week at my grandma's and came back cool. For some reason this trip helped her, was a vacay for her. Maybe next month she can go back for a week. But no like I missed her so much. I mean I really did. I don't know how she stomached living in that house alone for some many years (while I was in college). It wasn't that I was scared it just was too much and empty. My dog is back to normal by the way as well. His ass went into a depression while she was gone.

I wish my support group for alzheimers was back up and running. Will just have to find another. But I liked the people and the cookies.

No man. I realized this is my time to be single, and probably willl be single for a while. So I'm done trying to figure out MR.D or make excuses for newbie or entertain a date.

I have some great friends.

The Republican Party is in shambles. They need a PR person, or a life coach. Entertainment for me. When they speak so passionately against Obama all I can do is laugh. Like.....seriously.....calm down.

The book writing process has come to halt. I can't just write. Too worried about organization. Uhh........

Love all....kind of like I love a lot of people...who love me back....

Opinions As of Right Now

1. I'm not liking how the Houston social climate is changing.
2. I got dissed by a guy because I wasn't popular enough. So popular girls are awesome in his book.
3. My dog and I have better conversations than half of the men I meet. Did I mention my dog only barks and barely does that.
4. I am sick of Tiger Woods being raped in the media. He cheated on his wife. Who hasn't done that?
5. Man I own fake purses now. I feel better purchasing it. I feel like I am getting the man. It's funny how people treat me differently, like with status. Really funny when women inspect the bag, they determine it's real, then strike a conversation with me. Entertainment.
6. I don't want to meet another man. Seriously. I got my feelings hurt. Time for self love. And not in the sexual way for you dirty minds. I can't stand the getting to know you phase. Sick of telling my information, the uncomfortable dates, determing their ringtone..........
7. JAY LENO SUCKS!!!!!!!
8. I love Jimmy Fallon. His show is truly funny and creative. And the house band is The Roots. I actually laugh out loud not lol.
9. Why the fuck do I say lol all the time when I twit?
10. I refuse to participate in the All Star Activities. Hopefully I will be in New Orleans losing my mind, or here in Houston losing my mind...all I know is I need to lose my mind. All the folks will be out in Dallas.
11. If the Pants on the Ground man can get a record deal and a performance on the Grammys what the hell am I doing wrong?

GOODNIGHT

long time, no blog

I haven't blogged in a minute, because sometimes it's too hard to let stuff out. Actually read it and see it. Easier to think about it, discuss with some friends, but never personally staring at it.

It hasn't been easy with my mom. Some days are good and some days are bad. Other days it's bad and good all in the same day. I have to admit I think this is making me stronger and a bit weaker in some areas. I have lost focus on goals and what I really want in life.

On a good note, I am recognizing the signs to let people stay and go in my life. I have learned the importance of self-reflection. I am learning patience and understanding. I realized my passion for reading and writing.

I plan to start blogging again for myself. I miss writing and talking to people and hearing folks opinions.

I must say I appreciate the people who are in my life and want to be in my life. That exculdes my family, blood family. I have totally avoided them, and pushed them out. They are not there for my mother, of which I can't respect nor understand (funny I say I've learned understanding).

But what a blessing it has been for the definition of family to change for me. My friends, my neighbors, my mother's friends, parents of the children I take care of, even my drunk god father has been a huge help!

So this week I am making changes to protect and enhance my life. I'm taking a step into taking chances and facing challenges head on! WHEW HOO!

Shoutouts to 2010!